2 Months

This Wednesday marks 2 months since we arrived home. What a difference 2 months makes! At the one month mark I didn't even do a blog about it because I was still reeling from what we had experienced. She still felt like a stranger in my house, and I still spent most of my days wondering if life would ever feel normal again. In the last month we have been able to slowly come up for air and have begun to see light at the end of the tunnel.

For starters, I am blown away at the fears this child has conquered in 2 months. Guess what she is doing now? Riding in her stroller! After we took her out of the orphanage she would scream at the top of her lungs and literally try to claw herself out of the stroller. She was so incredibly scared. She had NO idea where she was and feared that we would leave her so she had to be literally ON us and with both of us in sight at all times. We weren't even allowed to sit. Now she happily plays in her stroller while we take walks or go to the store and the other day she went to her first restaurant!!!!! In Ukraine we mistakenly thought we would take her to eat and the second our behinds hit the chair she lost it so we learned quickly that "to go" would be the only way we would be eating out for a long time. This weekend, with some trepidation, we went to a local pizzeria with some friends and she was an angel. I couldn't believe it was the same child.

Her English is coming along well but we still have a long way to go in this area. She was speech delayed in her native language and I am definitely seeing that in English as well. We have her speech evaluation scheduled for Wednesday. Still, her progress has been good and we definitely have a good start to communication and it is reducing some frustration in all of us. The other day a man came to our door and she said "BIG MAN!......Gimme five!" Luckily he thought she was adorable!

Of course I can't forget to mention that this wild girl is walking like crazy. She blows us away. Even if we can tell she is getting tired she will keep going. It's a new lease on life! I really thought she would fight the leg braces and the walker but she has not once complained. Right now she is wearing her braces 1-2 hours a day and we are slowly working our way to increasing that so she is wearing them most of her waking hours. She went to church Sunday with her walker and had a great time walking all over. She even found a class having their music time and walked herself right in to check it out! It's been interesting watching other kids stare at her. Everyone has been kind to her but they are definitely interested in that girl with the walker. I guess that is something we will all have to become accustomed to.

Along with all of that...as if that wasn't enough...she is also doing great with her colors and now knows the basic colors well, she is feeding herself more and more, she is showing increased signs of attachment and trust, and she is just overall a happier child than she was 2 months ago. Please don't get me wrong, there is still a long journey to walk with Oksana, and the damage done to her over 5 years isn't disappearing in 2 months but the change is evident and for that we are thankful.

Here are a few pictures and another video of her walking:

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Walking

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Look who got herself a new set of wheels today! We had Oksana's OT and PT evaluation this morning. She will be getting a speech evaluation soon. We started with PT. She was very nice but Oksana got scared and cried when she tried to touch her feet. This fear stems from the surgery she had done in Ukraine. She's been hurt a lot and she doesn't trust anyone to touch her feet except us. The PT was very respectful and ended up earning her trust by the end of the session. The problem we have is that in order to get fitted for AFOs (Ankle foot orthotics, otherwise known as leg braces) you have to have your foot and calf casted in plaster and that will send Oksana into a panic. Instead she went to their donations and found a pair that fit her, and a pair of tennis shoes to go with them. It's not perfect but it will have to work for now. Then she came around the corner with a walker and next thing I knew Oksana was up and taking her first independent steps! She said that she wouldn't be surprised at all if Oksana walked without a walker soon. The walker slows her down :) but she loved the independence! It will be a few weeks before all of the reports are written, signed off, and therapy scheduled so she sent us home with the AFO's and the walker to be praciticing.

OT was next and she was also very encouraging. Oksana did qualify for services but she really felt that her fine motor delays were only because of the orphanage and she would catch up quick. Besides basic fine motor skills, she will be working on self help skills, and she will eventually be tested to see what kind of sensory issues she might have from the lack of stimulation in the orphanage.

Both OT and PT said she would come twice a week for an hour each. The speech therapist had originally wanted to wait to evaluate her until she had more English but after meeting her today she decided that she wants to evaluate her now. We don't have that scheduled yet but hope to soon. I might as well just set up a cot at Easter Seals because it sounds like we're going to be spending a lot of time there! When we left she had a fit because she liked their ball. Even now when she sees her walker she tells me that they had a ball and goldfish! I'm glad she had a good experience but hopefully she won't have a fit every time we leave!

BATH!!!

Yes, that is who you think it is, and yes, she is in what you think she is in! Oksana has conquered her fear of the bath tub! Now she has a great time in it and loves to have bubbles in her bath. I can't tell you how much easier it is to clean her now! Next on the list of fears to conquer....shopping carts :)!

Stuck!

The other day Oksana was playing in our guest bedroom. I was sitting in the living room when suddenly I heard "Mama, Mama". It was very calm and not at all frantic, just like she needed to tell me something so I walked in the room and this is what I found!

She had gotten herself good and stuck in the bed! When I walked in she started laughing so I figured it was safe to get a quick picture before I helped her escape :). She loves to look at this picture now and says "STUCK!"

Dates and Giraffes

A big tradition in our house is for Larry and I to take our boys on individual "dates". We hadn't been able to do that all summer and decided that this weekend was the perfect weekend for dates. On Saturday Larry took Clayton to Panera for breakfast. That is a big treat for Clayton since we never go out for breakfast and he loves their souffles. Today I took Evan to lunch after church and then we went to the zoo for a program they are offering called Giraffe Encounters. It allows you to go behind the scenes with the keepers and see the barns where the giraffes are kept at night and during bad weather. We also got to pet and feed the giraffes, and learn tons of new facts about them. We had a blast! Here are some pictures from our date:

How are things going?

That is the most common question we get asked these days. Yesterday Larry saw a bunch of people that he hasn't seen since we got home. He told me how hard it was to answer that question over and over again. We talked about how it is kind of hard to know how to answer it right now. We are in a bit of a middle ground. If we say everything is fantastic we aren't telling the full truth because we are still in a definite adjustment period and it's hard. If we continue to talk about what a difficult time we are having (which we spent the first month doing) we also aren't telling the full truth because things are much better than they were even 2 weeks ago. So we finally decided to tell people that the first month has been very hard, we are seeing great improvement since then but we still have a long way to go. I think that sums it up well! Here are a few examples of what that looks like. First the improvements:

-Oksana has these outbursts that I call "rages". Temper tantrum just doesn't do it justice. It is RAGE. We have come to the conclusion that she got attention for these in the orphanage. Unfortunately that isn't the case here. She figured that out quickly. She was having these outbursts multiple times a day during her first week. Today is 2 weeks since she has had an outburst like that. Don't get me wrong, we still have our fair share of temper tantrums, but there is still a language barrier and much to be learned.
-Oksana's English is coming along well. Her longest phrase is "Go lay down Bella"! She loves to say "Where'd it go?" and then "There it is!" She understands quite a bit more than she can say and that has made a huge difference in her adjustment.
-She is trying all kinds of new things. Oksana is funny in that she is fearful of things that we don't think are any big deal (like getting in a grocery cart), and she has no fear when it comes to things that we would think would scare her, like loud noises. We have to try everything out slowly and pray for the best. She has gotten in her pool (but is still scared of the bath tub), gone to the zoo, and sat through the music and part of the message at church. That is all huge progress for her.
-She is identifying 6 shapes and working hard on colors which are still hit and miss but she definitely gets the concept :). In the orphanage she had NO CLUE what to do with a puzzle. She didn't even get the concept of matching the piece to it's match on the board, she just stuck the pieces in her mouth. Last week I watched as she took one apart and put it together all by herself. She says "O is for Oksana" and loves to pray. She folds her hands together and says "PRAY!" and then likes to say "AMEN!"

And now some of the challenges:
-Wow, homeschooling is interesting with her around. It just isn't what I'm accustomed to and I've had to let go of the idea of the perfect school year (I usually have to let it go on a daily basis...sometimes multiple times a day)! Often the boys will get help from me on the living room floor while I'm blowing bubbles, building something, or reading a book. I'm terribly behind on grading, and forget fun and creative ideas this year. Luckily they do an online program so I know they are still getting all they need for the year.
-Love...what a word. We have completely changed what we think of as love. We still don't have the feeling of love for her. We've been told this can take months and even years. In this stage love is all about action. On good days that is fairly easy....on bad days not so much. I never realized how hard action can be without feeling but the Lord is teaching us a TON about how He wants us to love. It's been good for us, but hard.
-A friend who we met in Kiev blogged recently and she said "I am mourning my loss of freedom a bit. the changes in my life. While I chose these changes they are still changes and sometimes you just LONG for those easy days when all of this was a happy pipe dream." I could relate to that. It's funny how some of the big changes in my life don't bother me as much as the little things. Things that were SO simple before have become complex...some so complex that I can no longer do them and have to rely on Larry. For example, going to a store. She won't go in a cart or a stroller (which is a whole other story) so that means carrying her. I can handle that for about 2 items, as long as they are close to the front of the store, and then I'm EXHAUSTED. If I need a few things or need to take time to look at something, forget it. I end up sending Larry after work which of course cuts into our family time and I'm really strugging with that.

There's plenty more for each catagory but that will do for now. I look back to that first week and I'm SO thankful for where we are now. A month from now I'll feel the same way about today. We're just moving forward and taking things one day at a time.

Swimming and Standing

Today Oksana tried out her new pool for the first time! Her brothers got in first to show her it was fun and then she wanted to get right in. Good thing the pool wasn't any smaller!




Evan had his own fun by setting up the sprinkler and swinging through it.

The other day Oksana figured out that she can balance herself for short periods of time so it is her new favorite thing to do. She thinks it is so fun to fall back on her behind! You can see in the video that she is making herself fall back. She could stand longer if she wanted to but why do that when you can fall and everyone claps?!

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I just finished all of the paperwork for supplemental insurance and therapy. We will turn it all in next week then they will evaluate her and she will finally be in therapy. It looks to me like she's ready!