Does it get easier?

Before I tell you what happened yesterday I should say that I am not a mom who feels sorry for Oksana. If that is what she was looking for then she really missed out! I've worked with tons of kids with disabilities that are much more involved than hers. If you feel sorry for them you will never allow them to reach their full potential. I love Oksana with all my heart but I push that little girl. She is capable of so much! When she falls people around her gasp in shock and rush to see if she is OK. We don't. We encourage her, tell her she is doing a great job, and expect her to get herself up. She has to learn to fall, it is going to always be a part of her life. Now, of course, if she really does hurt herself we are the first ones there with tons of kisses and cuddles, but really 90% of the time she falls fine and just gets right back up. I say all of this so you don't think I am a person who would normally overreact to much.

Yesterday, however, I was caught off guard by the depth of my emotions. We were at church where she is in a 4 year old class. Larry and I alternate weeks where one of us goes to service and the other stays with Oksana. This was my day with Oksana and our class went to our indoor playground for some free time. There is a fun, and fairly large, plastic play place with a slide in it. She loves to go down the slide but the reality is that it takes her FOREVER to get up the stairs. She is very patient and works hard to make it up, making the slide down all that much of a joy! The kids obviously can't be expected to wait behind her so they go around her as she goes up. Today she was going up and was almost to the top. A group of kids was coming down and they were really blowing by her. Just when I was about to tell them to be careful and slow down I saw her start to go backwards. She fell back and proceeded to fall down a few stairs before finally coming to a stop. She immediately started crying and I rushed to scoop her up.

It was honestly all I could do not to sit there and cry with her. I had to force myself to hold it in. I wasn't mad at the kids, they are 4 and didn't do anything wrong. I wasn't upset because she fell (see paragraph 1 :), I was just so sad at the injustice of it all. She works so hard to get to the top. Other kids make 15 trips down the slide in the time she makes 1. She was almost to the top and got knocked down and I was just so sad for her. I realized that this won't be the last time that she is "pushed down" because of her disability. I just wanted to sit there an mourn that for her, but I couldn't at that time. This afternoon I wondered if it would ever get easier and I've decided that on some level it never will, but I am committed to educating not only others (kids and adults alike) but educating Oksana about her disability and making sure she knows that it won't stop her from reaching for the stars!

New AFOs #2

Believe it or not we had to get another pair of new AFOs! The first pair were great but as she spent some time walking in them they found enough areas needing change that they started again from scratch. Her new pair are 1/8" wider. The others were really rubbing her feet which can eventually lead her skin to break down. Even with the extra space they still had to flare the plastic out in some spots where her foot really rolls into the plastic. Along with that they built up one side of the bottom of the orthotic to try to prevent some of that rolling, and they added extra support inside as well. As if that wasn't enough, she also has a toe strap on this pair!

Here are her feet. Do you see how the big toes, especially on the right, turn in?


Here is the AFO with the toe strap on to keep that toe in a proper position.



She was a little unsteady for awhile after getting these but she seems to be back up to speed now!

Homeschool Curriculum

One "problem", if you want to call it that, of being a homeschooler is having too much to choose from when it comes to curriculum. I've found a lot of really good stuff out there but every once in awhile something comes along that is so GREAT that you have to share it with others.

We recently faced a situation where the curriculum we were using was not working for our boys anymore. I needed something new but had very little money to spend since my budget had gone to this first curriculum. While in Kiev, we met another adopting couple, Rob and Julia Nalle. They (along with 5 others) write a history curriculum called Biblioplan, so I decided to check it out. I spent a long, long time on their website and even emailed Julia to ask more questions. One thing that attracted me immediately was the price. For only $63(plus the cost of books which really isn't much at all) I could buy a curriculum that would be emailed to me and would cover history, geography, bible, and more for BOTH boys! How can you beat that?! Here is a description from their website:

BiblioPlan is a family-friendly guide designed for a chronological study of world history. Our plans integrate quality historical literature with Biblical and secular history in a format that is easy to follow and requires minimal parent preparation. It is designed so that all the children you are schooling are studying the same period of history at the same time, and doing so at their own level.

We are currently studying Ancient History but other biblioplans include Medieval, Renaissance, & Reformation, America and the World 1600-1850, and America and the World 1850-2000. The things I immediately loved about Biblioplan is that it is all laid out for me. It truly requires little to no prep for me, but it is incredible. My boys beg for History. It is designed as a 3 day a week program but we do it 5 days a week because it's our favorite part of the day. I can not believe the geography that they know already, the history is extremely interesting, and I think this might be some of the best Bible teaching my boys have had (and they've had some really good Bible teaching). There are also suggested writing assignments and tons of great books to read. What has really amazed me is what they are retaining. I just can't say enough about this. It has brought life and joy back into our homeschool days.

If you are interested in learning more go to http://biblioplan.net/ and you can see in more detail what they offer. If you have any questions about how we use it you are welcome to contact me as well.

Treasure

Tucked away in Ukraine, behind a tall fence that hid a pink house, sat a little girl. God told us that she was a treasure and that we were to go get her because the rewards of that treasure were to be ours. We had grand ideas about what this treasure would be like; however, I must confess that when we finally met out treasure she often didn't look, act, or smell like a treasure and sometimes I had trouble recognizing her as one. There were days when I said "Did we hear you wrong, God? Are you SURE this is her?" He continued to assure us that we had heard right, and so in obedience we brought her home. We hoped that we would be able to see what God saw after we got her home but to be honest it only got worse. Day after day we struggled to find this treasure. It was hard, but little by little we began to see glimpses of it. Now when we see her we are amazed by how blessed we are. We are truly reaping the rewards of our treasure from God. Does that mean it is always wonderful and always easy? Absolutely not! The difference is that God has allowed us to see her as He sees her and when that happens the "flaws" in the treasure are more difficult to see than they were at first. I remember when we came home I called my friend Ellen and told her "Don't EVER let me do this again!". She assured me that 1) she would never promise me that (I love you for that, Ellen!) and 2) the day would come that I would say I'd do it all over again just to have her. She was so right. We would do it a million more times for her!

Dancer!

A couple of weeks ago I was approached by a mom at Easter Seals who saw Oksana and wanted to invite us to the special needs dance class that she teaches! The best part is that it is free! Oksana has no idea what it means to go to a dance class but I figured it didn't hurt to try it out. She loves it! They don't do structured dance like you may be thinking of, it's really more of a movement class. They roll on the floor, pretend to be dinosaurs, play with scarves and balls, reach high and low, etc. all to music. She has 3 girls in her class. The classes last for 6 weeks and then they take a break...I think it's a 6 week break....and then they will start another 6 week session. Last week we got her a sweet little outfit for her dance class....you should understand that the outfit made no difference to her at all but I loved it ;)!

Potty Training and AFOs

We have 2 weeks of potty training Oksana behind us and I must say that I am pleased at her progress. When we started I don't even think she really knew how to use the muscles she needed to use. Once she figured that out she has been able to consistently stay dry during the day and even over night most nights. She is not yet at a place where she tells us when she needs to go. We just make sure we put her on there throughout the day and she will hold it until we put her on. She doesn't poop in the potty yet but one thing at a time! For 2 weeks that is great progress.

After what felt like an eternity we finall got her AFOs! We were so thrilled to get them since she uses walking now for about 90% of her mobility. Here are her old borrowed ones:


See how they are falling apart? Since they weren't made for her feet they also weren't providing the support she needed. This was not ideal but they were better than nothing while we waited. Now we have these pretty new ones made just for her and cute shoes to go with them!




Look out world....there's nothing stopping her now!

Potty Training

Oh I really don't like the words potty and training when they come together and are used in my house! Despite my feelings we are indeed full swing into potty training. First I'll give you some background and then I'll tell you the story of how we ended up here.

When we were in Ukraine we were told that Oksana was almost potty trained before her surgery. Apparently after the surgery she regressed in many areas and this was one. If you've followed this blog you probably know that she had a lot of fears when she came home and one of them was sitting on the potty. About 2 months ago we finally got her to sit on it with no problem and I was so excited that I decided to start potty training. It was not going well and I decided she just wasn't ready. She seemed to have no idea what I even wanted her to do and I even questioned if there might be muscle control issues that could be playing into this.

I had no plans to start up again anytime soon. Then on Thursday morning she was caught! She woke up in the morning and I needed to give her a bath so started running a bath and then took off her diaper and noticed it was dry. I told her we were going to sit on the potty and she FREAKED OUT. She was clawing at me and screaming. I put her down on the potty and she peed! It was the first time ever. I was so excited! I kept saying "You're doing it! That's it!" She was very angry and looked at me and said "Pee Pee in bath!" I looked at my husband and I said "The game is up. This girl knows EXACTLY what she is doing!"....and so our adventure begins.

Day one left me wanting to leave for Hawaii and not come back until she was potty trained. Goodness, I have no idea how much time she spent on that potty but it was a good part of her day and with no results! That evening on the way home Larry picked up one of those inserts to make the potty smaller. Since we got that we have had much better success. I think that she is too tense and unable to relax when she his holding herself up on the potty. Today she had 2 accidents and 3 successes. I still think Hawaii sounds good but I guess I'll stick it out for now!