Anya
I find it interesting that our homestudy requires more documents than our dossier. That being said we are wrapping up the last of our documents. The last thing we need is medical documents for myself and Larry. I went last week and Larry goes on Wednesday. We have to wait to get blood work back before we can get our documents filled out. Besides that our social worker is waiting to get all of the references back and our FBI clearance. I swear this is the slowest homestudy update in history. I learned early on that our social worker only works 2 days a week. I didn't think this would be a problem. I've since decided that it is. Oh well, too late now. It will be a happy day once we have that homestudy in our hands.
Oksana
So far so good with school. I love her new para. We are both praying this becomes a permanent situation. Her favorite time of the day is rest time. All weekend she has wanted to listen to "soft music" and pretend it is rest time. Her least favorite thing about school is that she has to sit a lot.
So I've decided to give Shriner's another chance. There are 3 reasons: 1) I hate to admit it but the doctor was right. We can not get this child to use an assistive device. We've basically given up. She's doing fine without it. 2) We LOVE the staff who make the AFO's at Shriners. They are so good with her and so knowledgeable. There is one guy in particular who I really like. When he asked who our doctor was at Shriners we told him and he commented that she is one of the best. Maybe that's why she could see after 10 minutes with Oksana that the whole assistive device thing was a bust. Yes, I'm admitting defeat here. 3) Oksana went to our pediatrician last week and she asked who our neurologist is at Shriners. She immediately knew who he was and said he is the best of the best. So we'll be back at Shriners in January.
Speaking of her pediatrician, I asked her to measure Oksana's head circumference to verify whether or not she has microcephaly. She does.
The Rest of Us
Unfortunately...or fortunately depending how you look at it....the rest of us are boring enough that we don't even warrant our own section of the update ;)! The boys start their school year at home tomorrow. I've been spending my weekend organizing and preparing for their week. I love the structure that comes with homeschooling but it's a lot of work! Evan is riding horses once a week, Clayton has youth group where he is training to do power point, lights, and sound, I will be starting Beth Moore's David study, and Larry is debating doing Financial Peace University (we are struggling with the $100 it costs to take this and wondering if it is worth it). See...we do have lives outside of Oksana and Anya ;)!
Sunday, August 21, 2011
Wednesday, August 17, 2011
First Day of School
I can not believe it is finally here. All of the planning, preparation, prayer, meetings, and then just like that I'm walking out the door leaving behind one very excited little girl! She has been very excited for this day. When we got to school she loved seeing all of the school buses! We walked to class and saw many of the staff who are part of her IEP team. They all welcomed her and told her how excited they were for her! Her para for this week is the same lady that she had at orientation. She doesn't know yet if she is permanent or not. When we got into class she found her seat and had a coloring page to do which is not her favorite activity but she scribbled a few marks on it :). I got a couple more pictures, told her para a few things about taking her to the bathroom, gave her a kiss, and she said "bye mom" and got right back to her coloring. On my way out everyone kept telling me they would take good care of her. I have no doubt about that! I did fine until I got back in the car and looked at the pictures I took. I might have cried just a little bit then ;). She looks so big and so beautiful in the pictures (see below). I still can't believe this is the same child we brought home just a year ago!
She had a doctors appointment today so I picked her up early. She had a great day overall with just a small issue at recess. Her para is a very sweet lady but she wants so badly to keep Oksana from falling or hurting herself in any way. Because of this she kept her from going on the slide at recess. She was afraid she wouldn't be able to do it. Oksana wasn't too happy about that, and then when it was time to go in she didn't want to go. I was able to explain to the para a little better how to help her slide and we assured Oksana that she could slide tomorrow. The para even mentioned that she had to reminder herself not to hold Oksana's hand all the time because she's just so afraid she will fall. My reaction was "Yep, she will....and she's fine. In fact she might even hurt herself once in awhile....and that's Ok too....she's fine." It will just take some time for this para to become comfortable with her. I got a earful the whole way home about how she didn't get to slide today. We talked about being patient while the new para gets to know what she can and can't do. I also told her that she might not always get to slide and that's life, but when it's time to go in there is no complaining. She understood and now she is excited for her first full day when she gets to eat lunch, have a snack, and have rest time at school...oh and she gets to slide too!
She had a doctors appointment today so I picked her up early. She had a great day overall with just a small issue at recess. Her para is a very sweet lady but she wants so badly to keep Oksana from falling or hurting herself in any way. Because of this she kept her from going on the slide at recess. She was afraid she wouldn't be able to do it. Oksana wasn't too happy about that, and then when it was time to go in she didn't want to go. I was able to explain to the para a little better how to help her slide and we assured Oksana that she could slide tomorrow. The para even mentioned that she had to reminder herself not to hold Oksana's hand all the time because she's just so afraid she will fall. My reaction was "Yep, she will....and she's fine. In fact she might even hurt herself once in awhile....and that's Ok too....she's fine." It will just take some time for this para to become comfortable with her. I got a earful the whole way home about how she didn't get to slide today. We talked about being patient while the new para gets to know what she can and can't do. I also told her that she might not always get to slide and that's life, but when it's time to go in there is no complaining. She understood and now she is excited for her first full day when she gets to eat lunch, have a snack, and have rest time at school...oh and she gets to slide too!
Friday, August 12, 2011
Kindergarten orientation and IEP meeting
Today was big day! It started with Kindergarten orientation. I’ll admit up front that I cried as soon as we walked it the building. It was so big and this is such a huge step for Oksana. We knew that they would be separating the parents and students at some point so Larry took the day off to come with me to help her while I went to parent meetings. We were so surprised when they said they had a para available to be with her so we could both go to the meetings! I was a bit nervous when I left her to go to parent orientation. While the parents heard from the principal, nurse, and PTO, the kids were meeting with their teacher, touring the building, and practicing the lunch routine with a snack. We were finished before they were so we had a chance to sign up for parent teacher conferences and ask her teacher any questions we had. When they came back she was all smiles and the para said she did fantastic! She absolutely loved it!
After a quick trip home for lunch we sent the kids off with my mom and set out for our first IEP meeting. We could not have been happier with our experience! Everyone was very excited about getting to know Oksana. Many of them had been there during orientation and had made an effort to find us so they could meet her or kept an eye on her while she was separated from us. They reported back to us how great she did! We were thrilled with how interested they were in her and with their interest in her history. We talked about OT, PT, Speech, what her day would look like, riding the bus (which we decided against), etc. The one big surprise of the day is that we made the decision to send her full day. All along we had intended to start her off 1/2 day and re evaluate that decision after Christmas. I was the first one to say on the way out of K orientation that I was shocked at how great she did and really thought she would be bummed to leave early when all the other kids are staying. As a team we discussed many different options for the length of her school day. In the end we all agreed that she would go full day and that, especially at the beginning of the year, if anyone feels she needs to go home for any reason they will call me. Larry and I both feel good about this decision and we are so excited for her! So as of right now she will be in the regular classroom with a full time aid. Throughout the next couple of weeks she will be having a number of evaluations done and then we will meet again as a time to finalize the amount of therapies received and whether or not she will need any special ed services, adaptive PE, etc.
I really truly believe that Oksana will thrive at this school. I am excited for her to start school for many reasons. Besides the obvious social and educational benefits, I am also excited to have some focused time schooling my boys. Last year we were adjusting to having Oksana in the middle of our schooling and next year Anya will be here with us, so this is my chance to really enjoy my time with them and make the most of our school year. It will be so strange not having her around, and it’s going to be a big adjustment, but it will be good for all of us!
Thursday, August 11, 2011
DAVIDS MOMMY
I'm so glad you commented on my blog! If you are reading this please contact me at fourloraines@yahoo.com. I'd love to talk to you!
Wheelchairs, Walking, and Hawks...oh my!
Wheelchairs
Almost as soon as Oksana came home I began to wonder what in the world would happen when she outgrew our stroller. We had searched high and low for the largest umbrella stroller we could find without breaking the bank, and she still fit in it a little too perfect. One year later she just looks uncomfortable! We only use the stroller for long distances...for example going to the zoo, etc. Sometimes we use a wagon but depending on where we are going that is not always an option. We started talking with her PT and ended up deciding on a wheelchair. This was not an easy decision for us but here is the conclusion we came to....we basically had to choose a wheelchair or a larger stroller. The wheelchair offers a number of "perks"...she is higher so she can be at the level of her peers, she can control it herself and does not have to rely on someone to get her where she wants to go, and if, for example, she were to go on a school field trip to the zoo, the kids wouldn't question a wheelchair but they might ask why she is in a stroller. Anyway, today we got to try one out and get measurements taken. The one she is getting is like the one in the pictures below but the wheels will be higher to allow her to reach them better, the handles will be higher (my husband is 6'2" and doesn't really want to bend down to push her), and it will be pink! Next week we will go to the doctor and have her sign the paperwork to present to the insurance company. Then we wait to see what insurance says about it and go from there.
Walking
Oh my we have struggled in this area. If you remember, we struggled with her falling a lot and a general lack of stability. Shriners told us there was nothing they could do for her. Well, we got her set up with a private PT who has also really struggled to find a good fit for her. She will not use an assistive device. She just keeps picking them up and walking away with them. The only thing she can't do that with is a walker and she really doesn't need that level of help. I hate to have her regress but at the same time we need her to be safe when she walks. It is really driving me crazy! Yesterday I was going to video tape her walking to show a friend how unstable she is. Wouldn't you know that she walked beautifully for a long period of time! I could not get her to fall if I tried! Yet other times I feel like all I'm doing is picking her up off of the floor. Anyway, we are only staying with this private PT until the end of the month and then we are going to switch to the school's therapist. I'll be VERY curious to see how she functions in school and I'm hoping that either she gets stronger and we never need to use anything or the PT at school has some ideas. This girl is a mystery!
Hawks
Today we had our homestudy visit. We were visiting with our social worker (who we REALLY like) when all of a sudden we hear BAM!!!!! A hawk had hit a window on our house and fallen onto our patio! He was stunned at first and was laying down. We thought maybe he had broken a leg. We were all shocked at this HUGE bird just sitting there on our porch! We decided to give him some time and sure enough he eventually stood up but still wouldn't fly. It looked like one of his wings might have been hanging so I called the World Bird Sanctuary. I told the nice lady all about the bird and she said "Can you bring him in?" I replied "Are you serious?!" Unfortunately she was serious. I told her that he was VERY big and VERY scary looking and there was no way I was touching him! She said to throw a sheet over him and put him in a box. She assured me that he wouldn't bite but said to look out for his talons (that was not comforting). I told her that bird was very lucky that my husband was home! So we got a sheet and a box and went outside which scared him enough to get him to fly away. He was not flying well and went into our neighbors yard. We went to see if they were home but they didn't answer and by the time we went back to the back yard the hawk was gone. I bet that's a homestudy visit we'll never forget!
Almost as soon as Oksana came home I began to wonder what in the world would happen when she outgrew our stroller. We had searched high and low for the largest umbrella stroller we could find without breaking the bank, and she still fit in it a little too perfect. One year later she just looks uncomfortable! We only use the stroller for long distances...for example going to the zoo, etc. Sometimes we use a wagon but depending on where we are going that is not always an option. We started talking with her PT and ended up deciding on a wheelchair. This was not an easy decision for us but here is the conclusion we came to....we basically had to choose a wheelchair or a larger stroller. The wheelchair offers a number of "perks"...she is higher so she can be at the level of her peers, she can control it herself and does not have to rely on someone to get her where she wants to go, and if, for example, she were to go on a school field trip to the zoo, the kids wouldn't question a wheelchair but they might ask why she is in a stroller. Anyway, today we got to try one out and get measurements taken. The one she is getting is like the one in the pictures below but the wheels will be higher to allow her to reach them better, the handles will be higher (my husband is 6'2" and doesn't really want to bend down to push her), and it will be pink! Next week we will go to the doctor and have her sign the paperwork to present to the insurance company. Then we wait to see what insurance says about it and go from there.
Walking
Oh my we have struggled in this area. If you remember, we struggled with her falling a lot and a general lack of stability. Shriners told us there was nothing they could do for her. Well, we got her set up with a private PT who has also really struggled to find a good fit for her. She will not use an assistive device. She just keeps picking them up and walking away with them. The only thing she can't do that with is a walker and she really doesn't need that level of help. I hate to have her regress but at the same time we need her to be safe when she walks. It is really driving me crazy! Yesterday I was going to video tape her walking to show a friend how unstable she is. Wouldn't you know that she walked beautifully for a long period of time! I could not get her to fall if I tried! Yet other times I feel like all I'm doing is picking her up off of the floor. Anyway, we are only staying with this private PT until the end of the month and then we are going to switch to the school's therapist. I'll be VERY curious to see how she functions in school and I'm hoping that either she gets stronger and we never need to use anything or the PT at school has some ideas. This girl is a mystery!
Hawks
Today we had our homestudy visit. We were visiting with our social worker (who we REALLY like) when all of a sudden we hear BAM!!!!! A hawk had hit a window on our house and fallen onto our patio! He was stunned at first and was laying down. We thought maybe he had broken a leg. We were all shocked at this HUGE bird just sitting there on our porch! We decided to give him some time and sure enough he eventually stood up but still wouldn't fly. It looked like one of his wings might have been hanging so I called the World Bird Sanctuary. I told the nice lady all about the bird and she said "Can you bring him in?" I replied "Are you serious?!" Unfortunately she was serious. I told her that he was VERY big and VERY scary looking and there was no way I was touching him! She said to throw a sheet over him and put him in a box. She assured me that he wouldn't bite but said to look out for his talons (that was not comforting). I told her that bird was very lucky that my husband was home! So we got a sheet and a box and went outside which scared him enough to get him to fly away. He was not flying well and went into our neighbors yard. We went to see if they were home but they didn't answer and by the time we went back to the back yard the hawk was gone. I bet that's a homestudy visit we'll never forget!
Tuesday, August 9, 2011
The second time around...
Those of you who have adopted more than once might be able to relate to this. Then again maybe you won't, in which case don't tell me because I don't like wondering if I'm just weird :).
The second time around has been SO different for us. The first time I had created a fairy tale in my head. I had so many ideas about how wonderful our lives would be, how much Oksana would love us, how much we would love her, etc. Yes, I read all the books but those things wouldn't happen to us because deep down we convinced ourselves that our daughter was _________, and our situation was ________, and our family was __________. Those things wouldn't happen to us. HA! The second time comes with no fairy tale. The first time was pretty awful. Of course I'd do it again in a second which is why we are but it was HARD in the beginning...REALLY HARD. I'd be lying if I didn't say I was nervous this time around. Then again this is probably a better place to be.
The first time the adoption CONSUMED our lives. I'm surprised we didn't have some sort of a psychological breakdown just through the paperwork process. It was crazy, it was intense, and we worked hard non stop until ever paper was sent to Ukraine. We tried to make everything about the process go faster, even if it was by one day. That was one day less she had to spend in an orphanage and we would fight for that one day. The second time is so much more relaxed. Don't get me wrong. We are working hard to get our paperwork done but our lives are not consumed. We learned the first time that it will happen when it happens and she will be here before we know it. We have the rest of our lives with her. We will do all we can to bring her home quickly but we will not be put in a padded room in the process!
The first time around I was PETRIFIED to go to a foreign country. I had never in my life had any desire at all to go overseas. I'm not even much of a fan of going out of my state! The second time around I can't WAIT to go back to Eastern Europe. As much as I loved Ukraine I am thrilled to be experiencing Bulgaria this time around.
I hope that when it is all said and done we will be able to say that overall the second time around proved to be a better experience. Speaking of the second time around, tomorrow our social worker comes for her last visit with us. I hope to get a better idea of when she will be able to complete our home study. We only need a couple of pieces of paperwork to finish our end of the process so hopefully it won't be too much longer. The home study is such a big hurdle. I'll be ready to have it behind us!
The second time around has been SO different for us. The first time I had created a fairy tale in my head. I had so many ideas about how wonderful our lives would be, how much Oksana would love us, how much we would love her, etc. Yes, I read all the books but those things wouldn't happen to us because deep down we convinced ourselves that our daughter was _________, and our situation was ________, and our family was __________. Those things wouldn't happen to us. HA! The second time comes with no fairy tale. The first time was pretty awful. Of course I'd do it again in a second which is why we are but it was HARD in the beginning...REALLY HARD. I'd be lying if I didn't say I was nervous this time around. Then again this is probably a better place to be.
The first time the adoption CONSUMED our lives. I'm surprised we didn't have some sort of a psychological breakdown just through the paperwork process. It was crazy, it was intense, and we worked hard non stop until ever paper was sent to Ukraine. We tried to make everything about the process go faster, even if it was by one day. That was one day less she had to spend in an orphanage and we would fight for that one day. The second time is so much more relaxed. Don't get me wrong. We are working hard to get our paperwork done but our lives are not consumed. We learned the first time that it will happen when it happens and she will be here before we know it. We have the rest of our lives with her. We will do all we can to bring her home quickly but we will not be put in a padded room in the process!
The first time around I was PETRIFIED to go to a foreign country. I had never in my life had any desire at all to go overseas. I'm not even much of a fan of going out of my state! The second time around I can't WAIT to go back to Eastern Europe. As much as I loved Ukraine I am thrilled to be experiencing Bulgaria this time around.
I hope that when it is all said and done we will be able to say that overall the second time around proved to be a better experience. Speaking of the second time around, tomorrow our social worker comes for her last visit with us. I hope to get a better idea of when she will be able to complete our home study. We only need a couple of pieces of paperwork to finish our end of the process so hopefully it won't be too much longer. The home study is such a big hurdle. I'll be ready to have it behind us!
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