The second time around...

Those of you who have adopted more than once might be able to relate to this. Then again maybe you won't, in which case don't tell me because I don't like wondering if I'm just weird :).

The second time around has been SO different for us. The first time I had created a fairy tale in my head. I had so many ideas about how wonderful our lives would be, how much Oksana would love us, how much we would love her, etc. Yes, I read all the books but those things wouldn't happen to us because deep down we convinced ourselves that our daughter was _________, and our situation was ________, and our family was __________. Those things wouldn't happen to us. HA! The second time comes with no fairy tale. The first time was pretty awful. Of course I'd do it again in a second which is why we are but it was HARD in the beginning...REALLY HARD. I'd be lying if I didn't say I was nervous this time around. Then again this is probably a better place to be.

The first time the adoption CONSUMED our lives. I'm surprised we didn't have some sort of a psychological breakdown just through the paperwork process. It was crazy, it was intense, and we worked hard non stop until ever paper was sent to Ukraine. We tried to make everything about the process go faster, even if it was by one day. That was one day less she had to spend in an orphanage and we would fight for that one day. The second time is so much more relaxed. Don't get me wrong. We are working hard to get our paperwork done but our lives are not consumed. We learned the first time that it will happen when it happens and she will be here before we know it. We have the rest of our lives with her. We will do all we can to bring her home quickly but we will not be put in a padded room in the process!

The first time around I was PETRIFIED to go to a foreign country. I had never in my life had any desire at all to go overseas. I'm not even much of a fan of going out of my state! The second time around I can't WAIT to go back to Eastern Europe. As much as I loved Ukraine I am thrilled to be experiencing Bulgaria this time around.

I hope that when it is all said and done we will be able to say that overall the second time around proved to be a better experience. Speaking of the second time around, tomorrow our social worker comes for her last visit with us. I hope to get a better idea of when she will be able to complete our home study. We only need a couple of pieces of paperwork to finish our end of the process so hopefully it won't be too much longer. The home study is such a big hurdle. I'll be ready to have it behind us!