My friend Ellen and some other friends have been blogging lately about their addiction to social media. It has really made me take a look at my own addiction. Facebook is by far the bulk of my problem. Earlier this year I put a limit on myself. I was allowed to look at Facebook in the morning, after lunch, and before bed. Not any other time. I realized then how incredibly often I was clicking onto it JUST FOR SOMETHING TO DO. I found myself checking it so often that there weren't even any new updates so I'd scroll through the old ones. But the reality is that rarely was there not a new update because guess what I learned? A lot of my "friends" are on Facebook all day doing the same thing I was. Never did I have to go more than a few minutes before I could find out what cute thing someones kid did, what they ate for dinner, or where they were and who they were with. I found myself checking it at a stop light, because what else am I supposed to do? Wait for the light to turn green while doing NOTHING?! YES! That's exactly what I'm supposed to do! It was out of hand. I would post a status and then sit waiting for responses. They gave me joy.
And it wasn't just Facebook. Blogs, blogs, and more blogs. I follow and read way too many. Having said that, I do enjoy blogging. It is kind of a diary for me. I think it is fun and I don't feel the need to post something all the time. I don't feel the need to share every detail of my life with you and I don't care if I go long periods of time without posting anything. Wish I could say the same about Facebook. And what about Pinterest? I'd say that is the one I am least addicted to but, still, between the 3 I would rotate. Facebook, Blogger, Pinterest, Facebook, Blogger, Pinterest, Facebook, Blogger, Pinterest.
I told myself I'd stick to my "rules" of limiting my time online until I went to Bulgaria and then while I was out of country I could be on there as much as I need to be to get updates out. After coming home I was back full force...Facebook, Blogger, Pinterest, Facebook, Blogger, Pinterest. Then something happened. We made a choice. A choice that is the best choice for our family but a choice that some people might not agree with. A choice that we have chosen not to share publicly. And why aren't we sharing it publicly? It's because I realized then that a large percentage of my Facebook page is made up of people who I don't know well enough that they would understand our decision. Why in the world, then, am I sharing every other detail of my life with them? I decided to stop posting anything on Facebook and just observe for awhile. Here is what I learned. I learned that there is WAY too much drama on Facebook. I'm talking Jr. High level maturity in some of what is happening on there. I learned that there are some people who work very hard to make us all think their family is perfect. So perfect that I almost lose my dinner reading their status updates. I learned that there are people who have nothing good to say besides the fact that they are at the grocery store and just found peanut butter on sale. WHO CARES?! I also learned that there are some people who make me smile when they post. There are some people who have wonderful, imperfect families, and they have something useful to say. There are announcements of adoption, birth, engagement, and it is fun to celebrate those. There is support for every thing you can imagine and some of the groups and individuals that I have met there have helped me stay afloat in some rough times.
I learned that it is hard to separate the good from the bad, and that the bad outweighs the good by about 10 to 1. Finally I learned that despite all of that I find myself on there constantly....sigh....
If only my passion and desire to be in the Word was as intense. Oh how I wish I could say that was true but the truth is that when my time on Facebook increases there is a steady decrease in my time with God. When my time on Facebook increases my joy comes from comments and status updates, not from my time with the Lord. It's a sad reality for me and I'm working to change this....again. If you can relate to this or have any suggestions on what has worked for you, please let me know...and I promise not to sit around waiting for your comment ;).
6 comments:
I've never been on facebook (afraid of the same problem) but I completely understand what you are saying.
It's a daily struggle to fight discractions and get into the Word. I've taken to listening to the Bible on my Ipod throughout the day-especially when I'm in the kitchen. The kids can hear it and often will make a comment so I know they are listening as well...
I have the same addiction to FB and have had the same thoughts and am making changes. If I spent half the time in the WORD that I spend on FB, WoW!!! Thank you for putting my thoughts into words!
I quit Facebook about 3 weeks ago. It has been amazing. I was just like you. And my family was suffering, I was stressing over every article and news piece. Debating people, defending my positions, and just generally being anxious about "what I should say next." Or just chit chatting. I was never mentally there for my children, physically, yes, but not mentally...my mind was always somewhere else. I miss the updates on friends who are due with new babies but other than that I can write emails or call on the phone and the other people, I'm not really friends with anyway. It has been a huge blessing for me to not be on there and I have no desire to go back. I have not joined any other social media for the same reason, Twitter, Pinterest, etc. Makes life so much more simple and so much more "present."
One suggestion a friedn had was to just set your limits as to what you want out of Facebook. Maybe just a place ot find friends? Then only go when you need to find someone. A place to share your children's accomplishments and pics. with family? Then only go when you have something valid to share. These were good suggestions because they let you set the parameters rather than letting Facebook guide you.
Well, the truth is...I "like" this post ;)
I have faced the same issues with Social Media. I just completed a presentation about social networking sites related to law and ethics. I think we could all expound on it forever. I can tell you this. I will be closing my facebook page likley by the time I graduate if not this fall. As I begin my career and my internships I worry about the safety of my family and my own as well. I really think that it's a distraction from all of the things that are happening around us from our own families to our country and even globally. It's hard to say, sometimes social networking sites have been host to sites that have united people on a grass roots effort to demonstrate against governments and it has also hosted sites that have been responsible for the bullying and suicide deaths of children and teens.
I rarely post there because of school and work and family schedules. I have posted a few times since being in Germany but I am much preferring my blog as I too feel like it's a journal more than anything and I don't feel tied to it.
I have been giving this some thought too. My plan is to unsubscribe from people/organizations who really aren't important to me. I will keep my subscriptions to close friends and family to keep in touch... but that will be FAR fewer updates than I see now. You can unsubscribe without "unfriending", which allows you to check in on or message people you don't have the time to follow constantly.
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