Just a kiss?

Do your kids kiss you?  I bet they do.  My boys did at one time.  Now they are way too cool for that so all I get is a cheek if I'm lucky, but they look forward with anticipation to the time each night when Larry and I wrestle them to the ground and kiss them before bed :).  I think kissing is something we sometimes take for granted as parents.  Oksana has NEVER willingly kissed us.  Some combination of being raised in an institution, RAD, and/or being on the autism spectrum has made this something she is not willing/able to do.  If we ask for it she will, with some resistance, and by that I mean she will get her face somewhat close to ours and make the noise.  She thinks it is fun to have us hold the boys down while she "kisses" them the same way because little sister kisses are, after all, a form of torture!  Still, this has always been when prompted.  She has never given a kiss to anyone in this family out of her own desire to do it.

Yesterday something pretty astounding happened in our house.  Oksana was sitting in her chair for dinner and Anya was trying to push the chair in for her.  I was standing in the kitchen watching, to make sure Anya's motives were pure ;), and this is what I heard Oksana say:  "Oh are you helping me?  You are such a sweet sister." and then I witnessed her lean in and give her a kiss!!!  Now, of course her lips didn't even touch her.  It was one of those get your face close and make a sound kisses but it was a KISS....a willingly given kiss to another human being!!!  We were shocked.

All evening I thought back on some of those months between May when we met Anya and October when she came home.  I was full of fear.  Oksana's reaction to us going to Bulgaria was nothing short of extreme.  She had almost reverted to some of her early days in her behavior.  Add that to the discovery that Anya was a hitter and I really thought this was going to be a recipe for disaster.  I prayed A LOT in those months for the relationship between the girls and for Oksana's adjustment.  I wasn't shy about asking anyone I could to pray along with me!  My motto was "expect the worst and hope for the best".  I remember saying to Larry one day "I hope that sometime in the future I can say that having a sister was good for Oksana."  Yesterday that hope became reality.  Our prayers have truly been answered.  Does that mean everything is perfect.  Of course not!  But what a special gift that the first person to get a kiss from Oksana was her sister.