So much to share and I just don't have the time to do it. I have to say that I love my job, but the front desk work combined with the teaching has been hard on me. My class is only one semester and it will be over January 22. After that I don't think I will teach my own class again. I'll stay at the front desk and happily sub so I can say no when I need to. I adore these kids more than I ever thought I would so subbing will be a great chance for me to stay connected with them in the classroom. Just too much going on in my family and my head for all of it.
Oksana's first 90 days in residential is over and we are starting the second 90 days. Next Thursday we are having a meeting with Crider and Regional. This will be the first of many to come to discuss what we need in our home when she comes back. This has me triggered big time. I'm feeling very anxious and scared a lot. I'm constantly thinking about it and worrying. I know I need to stop, but with the meetings happening regularly I think it is going to be very hard for me to get past this.
They are talking very seriously about putting a PCA in our house. She would do all of Oksana's care. We would not have to bathe, dress, or anything that is an area that usually causes her to scream at us and harm us or herself. Thankfully our team understands the trauma we have been through and they absolutely do not want things going back the way they were. I'm thankful for that, but I don't think they realize how hard it will be to not only be living with a stranger in our house, but also listening to Oksana scream.
I'll have more info after the meeting.
In the meantime we did go on vacation with the 3 kids and had a blast. I will post about that in a separate post soon.
6 comments:
Sending love and support your way. It has to be frightening to think about your past life with Oksana, and wondering if having support for her within your home would be enough. I wish there were some magic solution for Oksana's troubles so she could be back in her family, functioning well. It would take magic, I fear. Big hugs to you all. samm in canada
I agree with what SammE said about a magic solution; my heart hurts for all of you knowing what you've gone through, and for her as well of course. I wish that there was a miracle to be had so that you could all be together, under the same roof, peacefully. Sending you prayers and hugs <3
My prayers are with you. Having rotating strangers along with a screaming child in your home daily will require much spiritual support. You can count on continued prayers for Oksana and your entire family. God bless you.
From what I understand, and please know this comes from someone who prays and cares for you and your family....it was never the bathing, dressing and feeding that caused you all stress. It was the screaming and abuse that accompanied those types of activities. Don't they realize that even your youngest has signs of PTSD(please forgive me if I am wrong about this), and she was never responsible for bathing etc. Oksana. She only heard and saw the screaming etc. I guess I do not understand how they think having a PCA will help. I hope and pray that your stress eases.
Cherbos, you are 150% correct. I have tried explaining that. The people who care directly for our family totally understand and agree with us. Sadly they are not the people who make funding decisions. Our lives are in the hands of people who don't even know us.
I will be praying for you, your family, and those who are making decisions. I cannot imagine the stress you are feeling.
Please know that there are people who don't know that are in your corner!
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