I am in total shock today. Earlier this summer we were told that the courts in Bulgaria are closed from July 15-September 1. After that we would have to sit through a backlog of cases and should not expect to even get a court date until October. Well today I got an email that said that one of the judges is back at work and has already scheduled our court date for
SEPTEMBER 14!!!!!!!!!!!!
At 1:30pm in Bulgaria which is 5:30 am here on September 14th our lawyer will be representing us in court! Assuming all goes well, and there is no reason to assume it won't but you also can never count on anything in international adoption, we will then officially become the parents of Anya Rose Loraine! So the big question everyone wants to know....and I do mean EVERYONE because we have been asked this question a million times in the last 2 weeks.....is WHEN WILL SHE BE HOME?!
Well, of course, we aren't sure. October-ish. I should know more after court. For now we are just celebrating an unexpected blessing!
Monday, August 27, 2012
Thursday, August 23, 2012
School
We are on day 7 of school so I thought I'd just post some thoughts on these early days. This year I have kids in 8th, 5th, and 1st. Clayton and Evan are homeschooled and Oksana is in public school. There isn't a ton to tell about Clayton and Evan....at least not that I would share publicly since they read this! It's been a good start for them. They are taking writing classes online this year which takes a big load off of me. I love to write but I despise teaching it to 2 children who despise doing it! They are especially enjoying science. We are using Apologia for the first time this year and I'm kicking myself for not using this earlier. Evan is studying Anatomy and Physiology and Clayton is studying General Science.
This is Clayton's experiment on density in nature. He refused to be in the picture. I wanted him to wear those awesome goggles that came with his science kit :). Such a spoil sport!
This is Evan's edible cell complete with gelatin for cytoplasm, jelly bean mitochondria, Skittles lysomes, Smarties golgi body, fruit roll up endoplasmic reticulum, sprinkles for centrioles, and a gumball nucleus! He is downstairs right now telling Clayton "The mitochondria was pretty good!"
Oksana's story of school is, as usual, far more involved. Here she is on the first day of first grade (if you are a Veggie Tales fan like me you can't help singing "Billy Joe McGuffrey" when you read that)!
I'll start with the good. She has a new special ed teacher this year. I ADORE her and so does Oksana! She has a TON of experience with autistic kids and behavior problems. It is like she was brought to this school for Oksana. I had heard about her from other parents, and from Oksana, but I met her for the first time last night. I seriously almost did back flips out of the school. She is all I'd hoped she would be! Oksana's whole team this year blows my mind. We are so incredibly blessed by them. I had heard so many horror stories about kids with special needs in the public school system, but I have had the opposite experience. I am listened to as if I am one of the most important parts of the team and they truly respect my opinion. I feel the same way about each of them.
Now the not so good news. Her aggression has already started. When she is stressed she is grabbing at children. Now this might sound innocent enough but it isn't at all. It is a classic Oksana response and one that will send my blood pressure through the roof in .2 seconds. Her grabbing is mean, it is a grip of steel, and she does not let go for anything. Now, in the scope of things this is still mild. She hasn't had the huge outbursts with the massive aggression but still, I am shocked that it is happening again so fast. When I found out I immediately sent a text to my friend, whose son is autistic and also on Risperdal. I told her I was freaking out because I was afraid the meds weren't working and I was going to have to live through last year all over again. She assured me that I need to give it at least 6 weeks to fully work into her system (we are one day away from 2 weeks and not all of that has been at the full dose). She also reminded me that this isn't a cure all. She will still be obsessive and she will still be aggressive but it will be better. I could breathe better after that. Her special ed teacher is already on it and has a plan in place for when she gets like that.
We have an IEP meeting scheduled for September 10th. I'll be counting down the days. We are going to talk about lots of ways that we can reduce that stress in Oksana. She did FABULOUS at summer school so we know it isn't all about school but more about the setting we have her in. Time for some changes.
This is Clayton's experiment on density in nature. He refused to be in the picture. I wanted him to wear those awesome goggles that came with his science kit :). Such a spoil sport!
Oksana's story of school is, as usual, far more involved. Here she is on the first day of first grade (if you are a Veggie Tales fan like me you can't help singing "Billy Joe McGuffrey" when you read that)!
I'll start with the good. She has a new special ed teacher this year. I ADORE her and so does Oksana! She has a TON of experience with autistic kids and behavior problems. It is like she was brought to this school for Oksana. I had heard about her from other parents, and from Oksana, but I met her for the first time last night. I seriously almost did back flips out of the school. She is all I'd hoped she would be! Oksana's whole team this year blows my mind. We are so incredibly blessed by them. I had heard so many horror stories about kids with special needs in the public school system, but I have had the opposite experience. I am listened to as if I am one of the most important parts of the team and they truly respect my opinion. I feel the same way about each of them.
Now the not so good news. Her aggression has already started. When she is stressed she is grabbing at children. Now this might sound innocent enough but it isn't at all. It is a classic Oksana response and one that will send my blood pressure through the roof in .2 seconds. Her grabbing is mean, it is a grip of steel, and she does not let go for anything. Now, in the scope of things this is still mild. She hasn't had the huge outbursts with the massive aggression but still, I am shocked that it is happening again so fast. When I found out I immediately sent a text to my friend, whose son is autistic and also on Risperdal. I told her I was freaking out because I was afraid the meds weren't working and I was going to have to live through last year all over again. She assured me that I need to give it at least 6 weeks to fully work into her system (we are one day away from 2 weeks and not all of that has been at the full dose). She also reminded me that this isn't a cure all. She will still be obsessive and she will still be aggressive but it will be better. I could breathe better after that. Her special ed teacher is already on it and has a plan in place for when she gets like that.
We have an IEP meeting scheduled for September 10th. I'll be counting down the days. We are going to talk about lots of ways that we can reduce that stress in Oksana. She did FABULOUS at summer school so we know it isn't all about school but more about the setting we have her in. Time for some changes.
Sunday, August 12, 2012
We pulled the trigger....
After writing that last blog I dropped off the prescription while I attempted not to start crying in front of my children or the nice lady at the pharmacy. When I got back home your comments started coming in. I also began texting and emailing a couple of friends who have kids on medication. I was amazed by the support and encouragement I received. Everyone either verified what I was already thinking or helped me see a whole new perspective on how this can help her. I went from choking back tears and thinking I'd start "some day soon" to freaking out that I had waited too long! A couple of people told me how beneficial it would be to start her before school so that I could monitor side effects. That made such good sense especially since her new teachers won't know her well enough to know what is typical for her and what is a side effect. So she has had 2 doses of her medication. I know it can take time for side effects to kick in but so far so good. I'll have 4 solid days to watch her before she starts school on Wednesday. Like many of you said....it is a step in finding what works for her and we really need to work on finding something to help her before Anya comes home.
For those of you who have commented....THANK YOU! I was so nervous about putting this out there but now I'm so glad I did. You were all a great encouragement to me. The truth is that there are very few things on my "thanks but no thanks list" but autism is one of them. Now I know why...there is no aspect of who Oksana is that has been more challenging than the behaviors that may be related to autism. If it isn't autism they had better be ready to explain to me what it is! I am so so thankful that autism was not on her report from Ukraine because we would have easily passed over her if it had been. Believe me, there are days when I think "I didn't sign up for this", but overall I'm just thankful that God sometimes keeps us in the dark to accomplish His purposes for us.
My next step is to tell school and ask them for an IEP meeting sooner rather than later because with this new information about her there are some changes I want to make at school too. Our goal is to reduce stress at school...some ideas we have are taking her off of the bus, increasing her time in the special ed room, etc. The reality is that learning really couldn't happen last year and won't be able to happen until we deal with her emotional and mental health. My hope is that this is a step towards a healthier and happier Oksana who can continue to grow, learn, make friends, and become all that God created her to be!
For those of you who have commented....THANK YOU! I was so nervous about putting this out there but now I'm so glad I did. You were all a great encouragement to me. The truth is that there are very few things on my "thanks but no thanks list" but autism is one of them. Now I know why...there is no aspect of who Oksana is that has been more challenging than the behaviors that may be related to autism. If it isn't autism they had better be ready to explain to me what it is! I am so so thankful that autism was not on her report from Ukraine because we would have easily passed over her if it had been. Believe me, there are days when I think "I didn't sign up for this", but overall I'm just thankful that God sometimes keeps us in the dark to accomplish His purposes for us.
My next step is to tell school and ask them for an IEP meeting sooner rather than later because with this new information about her there are some changes I want to make at school too. Our goal is to reduce stress at school...some ideas we have are taking her off of the bus, increasing her time in the special ed room, etc. The reality is that learning really couldn't happen last year and won't be able to happen until we deal with her emotional and mental health. My hope is that this is a step towards a healthier and happier Oksana who can continue to grow, learn, make friends, and become all that God created her to be!
Wednesday, August 8, 2012
Autism
There has been a whole lot going on here that I haven't blogged about. Some things just take time to go public with. This is one of those. I'm still not sure I'm ready but here goes nothing. This post has been over a month in the making so there is just too much to share without writing a book. Because of that I'm going to take some short cuts to get you to where we are today.
It didn't take long for the word autism to be thrown around in our house. Kids who come from orphanages are likely to have autistic like behaviors. The rule of thumb is to wait 2 years before considering autism as it can often take that long to see those behaviors disappear or at least start to dissipate. Over the last 2 years I'd occasionally say the word autism to people only to hear them say "Oh she's too social to have autism." And there you have the main reasons why we have kept our mouths closed and assumed she was fine. Well this summer has been very interesting. As we have prepared to celebrate 2 years of having Oksana in our family we have also watched the behaviors that concern us become worse and worse.
After voicing my concerns to her neurologist in July he agreed that her behaviors are concerning enough that she needs to be evaluated. He also suggested putting her on Risperdal to control some of the more concerning behaviors (obsessiveness, aggression, self injury). I was so not ready to hear that. I told him that we wanted to make some environmental changes at school before considering medication and I slipped the prescription in my purse without even looking at it. When we got home I immediately contacted her pediatrician to get her up to speed. She completely agreed with the need for an evaluation and the Risperdal. I gave her the same speech that I gave the neurologist about the meds. Then I contacted a pediatric psychiatrist for the evaluation. She will be seeing her on October 29th.
As we creep closer and closer to the start of school I am becoming more and more concerned. Her obsessions are so bad that she really can barely function outside of them anymore. I really don't see how she can even learn like this. I'm also scared about her aggressive behavior when school starts. It is definitely worse in stressful situations and it will increase drastically when she goes back to school. I haven't shared some of this before now but last year we had to start documenting her self injury to protect ourselves if someone called the state on us. At the end of the school year, coupled with our trip to Bulgaria, it was so bad that her para sub had to physically block her from attacking children in the hallway and I was getting daily calls from school. We didn't even know if she would make it to the end of the year or if we would have to pull her out early. It was horrible.
Yesterday I pulled that prescription out and read it for the first time. It's starting to sink in. It is no longer a question of "if" we start her on it but "when". My next step will be to fill it but even when I do that it will probably sit on my counter for awhile. I have no idea how to pull the trigger on starting. How do I decide when the moment comes that I put that medication in her? I understand its necessity and in fact I'm beginning to see that by waiting I am just delaying her chance at a better quality of life. Still, I'm struggling......
It didn't take long for the word autism to be thrown around in our house. Kids who come from orphanages are likely to have autistic like behaviors. The rule of thumb is to wait 2 years before considering autism as it can often take that long to see those behaviors disappear or at least start to dissipate. Over the last 2 years I'd occasionally say the word autism to people only to hear them say "Oh she's too social to have autism." And there you have the main reasons why we have kept our mouths closed and assumed she was fine. Well this summer has been very interesting. As we have prepared to celebrate 2 years of having Oksana in our family we have also watched the behaviors that concern us become worse and worse.
After voicing my concerns to her neurologist in July he agreed that her behaviors are concerning enough that she needs to be evaluated. He also suggested putting her on Risperdal to control some of the more concerning behaviors (obsessiveness, aggression, self injury). I was so not ready to hear that. I told him that we wanted to make some environmental changes at school before considering medication and I slipped the prescription in my purse without even looking at it. When we got home I immediately contacted her pediatrician to get her up to speed. She completely agreed with the need for an evaluation and the Risperdal. I gave her the same speech that I gave the neurologist about the meds. Then I contacted a pediatric psychiatrist for the evaluation. She will be seeing her on October 29th.
As we creep closer and closer to the start of school I am becoming more and more concerned. Her obsessions are so bad that she really can barely function outside of them anymore. I really don't see how she can even learn like this. I'm also scared about her aggressive behavior when school starts. It is definitely worse in stressful situations and it will increase drastically when she goes back to school. I haven't shared some of this before now but last year we had to start documenting her self injury to protect ourselves if someone called the state on us. At the end of the school year, coupled with our trip to Bulgaria, it was so bad that her para sub had to physically block her from attacking children in the hallway and I was getting daily calls from school. We didn't even know if she would make it to the end of the year or if we would have to pull her out early. It was horrible.
Yesterday I pulled that prescription out and read it for the first time. It's starting to sink in. It is no longer a question of "if" we start her on it but "when". My next step will be to fill it but even when I do that it will probably sit on my counter for awhile. I have no idea how to pull the trigger on starting. How do I decide when the moment comes that I put that medication in her? I understand its necessity and in fact I'm beginning to see that by waiting I am just delaying her chance at a better quality of life. Still, I'm struggling......
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