In a recent job interview (I will explain that in a minute), I was asked where I see myself in the next 3-5 years. My answer was something I had not really realized up to this point. I am in a new stage of life. For the first time I'm not caring for babies, newly adopted children, or homeschooling 5 days a week. I actually have some TIME!
The homeschool program the boys go it is moving to 3 days a week for 7-12 grade. That means a couple of things for me. One is that I have 3 full days to myself when the girls are also in school! The second thing is that tuition is higher. Up to this point we have been very blessed to be able to pay tuition. The first year Larry had a different job and made more money. The second year a family member helped us with a large chunk of the tuition. This year we literally have no idea how we will pay for them to go to school. Pulling them out will never be an option. This is the best thing that has ever happened to them related to their education.
When I realized that I had both 3 days alone, and no money, I decided it was time to look for a part time job. I am picky....very picky. We have a unique family and not every job will work for us. There was one job I would have loved, but the hours were evenings and weekends. We decided there was no way I could do that. I've been searching for a couple of months and recently learned that one of our local school districts was looking for a parent educator. If you aren't familiar with that, it is through a Parent's As Teachers program. It is designed for families with children birth-3. They are assigned a parent educator who comes into their home. This parent educator is there to support the parents, encourage them, help them find developmentally appropriate activities, answer questions, and identify any early intervention needed. I think I would love it. It's only 17 hours and you set most of your own schedule. I interviewed a couple of weeks ago. Unfortunately just yesterday I discovered that it payed too much for us to qualify for Medicaid for Oksana so if they call me to offer me the job I will have to turn it down. Infuriating. Which brings me to the next opportunity I have been given.
One of my first thoughts when I realized that I wanted to see about getting a job was to go to the boys' school to see if they needed help. I'm simply looking for help paying tuition so it just made sense that anything I did there would knock off some tuition and help out. I've been talking with them for a couple of months about some opportunities but nothing quite worked out. They talked to me about a preschool teaching position but after praying about it I realized that I am in a stage of life where the preschool age is just not a place I want to be. They want people with a passion for what they do. I was not feeling the passion....at all! Then a couple of weeks later I found out they needed someone to teach their high school public speaking class. I inquired about it, talked to Larry about it, and talked to Clayton since he will be one of my students. We all seemed to feel it was a good opportunity so I took it! It is only 3 days a week from 2:30-3:45. A couple of days after that they also offered me a front desk position. I will work from 8am-12 the same three days helping out as a receptionist. I'm exited for this opportunity to help their school and help us pay tuition!
In another area of life that is entering a new stage, I have a kid meeting some big "growing up" milestones that bring in a whole new season of parenting! In June Clayton turned 16. Last week he got his drivers license and started a new job! This is so strange! He drives himself to work. That's just weird. Then we went just Friday to get him a checking account! I personally love this stage of parenting, but it is scary too! There are all kinds of new experiences and emotions to deal with in all of us!
Saturday, August 29, 2015
Monday, August 24, 2015
Update
Sorry I kind of left you hanging with my last post. Since then the residential center that she was in earlier this year agreed to take her back. Unfortunately it was double the price that Crider pays (because of the high level of care). Crider decided to ask Regional Center to co fund it. Last week we got approval for her to be in residential for 3 months. We can always ask for more later but this is a start. From here we are waiting for all of the official paperwork to get all of the official signatures on it to move forward. Our hope is that it will be this week but we aren't holding our breath.
She was in respite this weekend. It was such a calm and relaxing weekend. When she got home the whole house changed. I knew this happened but I had never felt it as much as I did yesterday. Immediately I noticed that Larry and I became irritable and our tone of voice changed. I noticed that I was pacing. I noticed that our dinner was so much less peaceful. You can cut the tension here with a knife when she is in the house.
Three months will be a good start. It definitely isn't enough but one step at a time.
She was in respite this weekend. It was such a calm and relaxing weekend. When she got home the whole house changed. I knew this happened but I had never felt it as much as I did yesterday. Immediately I noticed that Larry and I became irritable and our tone of voice changed. I noticed that I was pacing. I noticed that our dinner was so much less peaceful. You can cut the tension here with a knife when she is in the house.
Three months will be a good start. It definitely isn't enough but one step at a time.
Sunday, August 9, 2015
Waiting again
I thought I had done enough waiting through 2 adoptions to last me a lifetime. Apparently not!
Medicaid refused Oksana. There are 2 main reasons. First, she has not had 30 consecutive days out of the home. She had 7 days in the hospital came home ONE day and was put in residential for 26 days. That doesn't count. :/ Second, we dared to plan for our future. We have a 401K with more than $1,000 in it.
The good news is we can fix those. The hardest one to fix is getting Oksana out of the home for 30 days since we can not find one single solitary place to take her. This is where the waiting comes in. We made the decision with our team to try to get her back in the residential center she was in before. They took her once, we just need to see if they will take her again. We had not been considering it up to this point because I did not like that place much for 2 main reasons...they did everything for her and made her regress terribly, and their psychiatrist drugged her into oblivion and sent her home as "better". This time will be a bit different because we will not be going through insurance. This is actually being funded by Crider, the mental health agency we are working with. Because of that Crider will be overseeing their care of her. They will write plans for the residential center that say they can not do everything for her. Now whether or not they will follow that is another story, but at least there will be oversight. Also, I will not be accepting services from their psychiatrist. I will pick her up for all of her psych appointments and take her to a psychiatrist I trust. Between those two things I think we can have a better experience there. Honestly, we have no choice. Not having Medicaid is not an option. We need that to move forward. The good thing about sending her back where she was as opposed to another place is that it is near us (40 minutes away versus the 2 and 4 hours away of the other places), she gets to keep her current school since it is on the same campus, she will be in a familiar place, and we do know they will take good care of her.
The question now becomes will they take her back? They are reviewing her file again. There is no guarantee they will take her just because she was there before. I am really hoping we have an answer on Monday. If they say yes we need to find out how long until they have a bed open. Once she is in we will start getting rid of our 401K so that after the 30 days we are ready to go with Medicaid. Once we have medicaid we can start working towards independent supported living.
If they say no. I don't even know. I can't even go there right now.
In the meantime I am going to be calling our Senator tomorrow and trying to set up a meeting to share our story with him and see if he can offer any help. On Wednesday Anya starts school and next Monday Oksana starts. I am beyond ready. Anya is bored out of her ever loving mind. She did great until about the last 2 weeks. She is DONE with summer. Because of Oksana being here all day every day we are trapped here which isn't helping the situation. Next week I have no respite so it should be very interesting.
Back to waiting for news. I'll update when I have it.
Medicaid refused Oksana. There are 2 main reasons. First, she has not had 30 consecutive days out of the home. She had 7 days in the hospital came home ONE day and was put in residential for 26 days. That doesn't count. :/ Second, we dared to plan for our future. We have a 401K with more than $1,000 in it.
The good news is we can fix those. The hardest one to fix is getting Oksana out of the home for 30 days since we can not find one single solitary place to take her. This is where the waiting comes in. We made the decision with our team to try to get her back in the residential center she was in before. They took her once, we just need to see if they will take her again. We had not been considering it up to this point because I did not like that place much for 2 main reasons...they did everything for her and made her regress terribly, and their psychiatrist drugged her into oblivion and sent her home as "better". This time will be a bit different because we will not be going through insurance. This is actually being funded by Crider, the mental health agency we are working with. Because of that Crider will be overseeing their care of her. They will write plans for the residential center that say they can not do everything for her. Now whether or not they will follow that is another story, but at least there will be oversight. Also, I will not be accepting services from their psychiatrist. I will pick her up for all of her psych appointments and take her to a psychiatrist I trust. Between those two things I think we can have a better experience there. Honestly, we have no choice. Not having Medicaid is not an option. We need that to move forward. The good thing about sending her back where she was as opposed to another place is that it is near us (40 minutes away versus the 2 and 4 hours away of the other places), she gets to keep her current school since it is on the same campus, she will be in a familiar place, and we do know they will take good care of her.
The question now becomes will they take her back? They are reviewing her file again. There is no guarantee they will take her just because she was there before. I am really hoping we have an answer on Monday. If they say yes we need to find out how long until they have a bed open. Once she is in we will start getting rid of our 401K so that after the 30 days we are ready to go with Medicaid. Once we have medicaid we can start working towards independent supported living.
If they say no. I don't even know. I can't even go there right now.
In the meantime I am going to be calling our Senator tomorrow and trying to set up a meeting to share our story with him and see if he can offer any help. On Wednesday Anya starts school and next Monday Oksana starts. I am beyond ready. Anya is bored out of her ever loving mind. She did great until about the last 2 weeks. She is DONE with summer. Because of Oksana being here all day every day we are trapped here which isn't helping the situation. Next week I have no respite so it should be very interesting.
Back to waiting for news. I'll update when I have it.
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