Where I've been

I really enjoy blogging.  It's kind of therapeutic for me, however, it serves another purpose too.  Back when we were in the process to adopt Oksana I read MANY blogs.  I'd sit up at night reading beautiful story after beautiful story and awaiting the day that one of those stories would be mine.  Well as many of you know our story was not what I thought it would be.  I was shocked and I felt alone.  Why had all of those other families had wonderful experiences and we were suffering.  Then I joined some online groups and guess what I learned?  Those families were suffering too!!!  I couldn't decide if I felt more relieved or betrayed. 

I've always wanted to be honest on this blog.  Sometimes I get comments saying how people appreciate that I don't sugar coat things, but the truth is that there is really only so much you can put on a public blog.  Obviously I don't share everything, just enough to let anyone else struggling know they are not alone.

Then there come times in our life when things happen that I don't even know how to begin to share.  And so I say nothing.....

The fog is clearing a bit and so I'll just say

There are some things love can't fix

There are some hurts that change a child in ways we never could have imagined

....and mental illness sucks......but there is hope......