How are things going?

That is the most common question we get asked these days. Yesterday Larry saw a bunch of people that he hasn't seen since we got home. He told me how hard it was to answer that question over and over again. We talked about how it is kind of hard to know how to answer it right now. We are in a bit of a middle ground. If we say everything is fantastic we aren't telling the full truth because we are still in a definite adjustment period and it's hard. If we continue to talk about what a difficult time we are having (which we spent the first month doing) we also aren't telling the full truth because things are much better than they were even 2 weeks ago. So we finally decided to tell people that the first month has been very hard, we are seeing great improvement since then but we still have a long way to go. I think that sums it up well! Here are a few examples of what that looks like. First the improvements:

-Oksana has these outbursts that I call "rages". Temper tantrum just doesn't do it justice. It is RAGE. We have come to the conclusion that she got attention for these in the orphanage. Unfortunately that isn't the case here. She figured that out quickly. She was having these outbursts multiple times a day during her first week. Today is 2 weeks since she has had an outburst like that. Don't get me wrong, we still have our fair share of temper tantrums, but there is still a language barrier and much to be learned.
-Oksana's English is coming along well. Her longest phrase is "Go lay down Bella"! She loves to say "Where'd it go?" and then "There it is!" She understands quite a bit more than she can say and that has made a huge difference in her adjustment.
-She is trying all kinds of new things. Oksana is funny in that she is fearful of things that we don't think are any big deal (like getting in a grocery cart), and she has no fear when it comes to things that we would think would scare her, like loud noises. We have to try everything out slowly and pray for the best. She has gotten in her pool (but is still scared of the bath tub), gone to the zoo, and sat through the music and part of the message at church. That is all huge progress for her.
-She is identifying 6 shapes and working hard on colors which are still hit and miss but she definitely gets the concept :). In the orphanage she had NO CLUE what to do with a puzzle. She didn't even get the concept of matching the piece to it's match on the board, she just stuck the pieces in her mouth. Last week I watched as she took one apart and put it together all by herself. She says "O is for Oksana" and loves to pray. She folds her hands together and says "PRAY!" and then likes to say "AMEN!"

And now some of the challenges:
-Wow, homeschooling is interesting with her around. It just isn't what I'm accustomed to and I've had to let go of the idea of the perfect school year (I usually have to let it go on a daily basis...sometimes multiple times a day)! Often the boys will get help from me on the living room floor while I'm blowing bubbles, building something, or reading a book. I'm terribly behind on grading, and forget fun and creative ideas this year. Luckily they do an online program so I know they are still getting all they need for the year.
-Love...what a word. We have completely changed what we think of as love. We still don't have the feeling of love for her. We've been told this can take months and even years. In this stage love is all about action. On good days that is fairly easy....on bad days not so much. I never realized how hard action can be without feeling but the Lord is teaching us a TON about how He wants us to love. It's been good for us, but hard.
-A friend who we met in Kiev blogged recently and she said "I am mourning my loss of freedom a bit. the changes in my life. While I chose these changes they are still changes and sometimes you just LONG for those easy days when all of this was a happy pipe dream." I could relate to that. It's funny how some of the big changes in my life don't bother me as much as the little things. Things that were SO simple before have become complex...some so complex that I can no longer do them and have to rely on Larry. For example, going to a store. She won't go in a cart or a stroller (which is a whole other story) so that means carrying her. I can handle that for about 2 items, as long as they are close to the front of the store, and then I'm EXHAUSTED. If I need a few things or need to take time to look at something, forget it. I end up sending Larry after work which of course cuts into our family time and I'm really strugging with that.

There's plenty more for each catagory but that will do for now. I look back to that first week and I'm SO thankful for where we are now. A month from now I'll feel the same way about today. We're just moving forward and taking things one day at a time.