The meeting went great

I'll start by saying that we did not make a decision but it was a wonderful meeting. 

I have to admit that I went into this with guns blazing.  I did not trust these three "district specialists" at all.  I was determined to make sure that they didn't come in and try to push us into things we didn't want without knowing us or our kid.  They might have thought we were a bit nuts but we were DETERMINED that Oksana would not be put in the wrong placement.  A friend told us that they might present a certain program to us.  We were told that we should not put her in it because it is a pilot program and they are still learning.  Sure enough very shortly into the meeting they start talking about this program and I came right out and said "I was told that is a pilot program and I shouldn't put my kid in it."  After they picked their jaws up off the ground they admitted that was true they honestly told us the good and the bad about the program.  Larry asked about the credentials of the staff in that program.  They weren't any different than the staff we have at our current school, but the school psychologist and behavior specialist kept assuring us that they were personally training this staff and heavily involved in the program.  So Larry asked what their credentials were to be able to train the staff!  Well after I heard the credentials of the school psychologist I immediately relaxed and knew I could trust him.  He has extensive experience with trauma.  His first job was with the VA and he worked with veterans who had PTSD.  As we talked more and more we learned that he follows many of the same philosophies that we do on parenting kids with a past of trauma.  Once I trusted a bit more I heard what they were saying.  Considering our goals for Oksana, both the program I wanted, and the one I didn't want, have pros and cons. 

There was so much more to it but for the sake of your time reading this and my fingers I will move on.  In the end there are actually 3 options we are looking at.  The first is the pilot program.  There are some real benefits to it for Oksana but it still makes me nervous.  The second is the alternative school that I wanted.  There are some downfalls to this for Oksana that I did not anticipate.  The third option is one that we all agreed is probably overkill but we still wanted to have it on the table and get their professional input on our situation.  It is a private residential setting.  They have a school there but it is mostly for kids who don't succeed in any other options in the district.  Still, they are very knowledgeable about trauma and could offer us some good input. 

The plan from this point is that staff from each of those three settings will come observe Oksana in school.  Then they will say why they do or do not think their program is a good fit for her.  If they are positive about her ability to succeed in their program Larry and I will tour it and see it for ourselves.  Then we are coming back together mid January to discuss everything and hopefully make a decision.

The only bummer is that I really wanted this done before Christmas so we could make a clean break into a new school.  The decision just can't be made that fast.

I want to share the really cool thing though.  Our IEP team was totally advocating for Oksana.  They would ask the specialists questions that I didn't even consider.  They also encouraged me to trust the district specialists, and I'm glad they did.  We have such an awesome IEP team.  When I think of losing them as Oksana's team I cry.  When the meeting was over some of the team had to leave but a few of us were left behind.  I expressed to the district specialists that I did not trust them coming in.  They agreed that I had no reason to.  I told them that I could see now that they weren't there to benefit the district, but truly to help us make the best decision for Oksana.  One of them leaned in and said "I'm not supposed to say this but I am because I can with you.  I want you to know that at 5am this morning I got up to let my dog out and then I prayed over this meeting.  This decision is being prayed for."  I got to share with them the verse that means so much to me for my girls (Jeremiah 29:11) and tell them that I know God is in this because he told me that He will not harm her but he will give her a hope and a future.

At this point one of the district specialists, the special ed teacher, and the diagnostician are all crying.  The teacher and diagnostician expressed how hard it would be to let Oksana go.  We all got to talk about what a neat kid she is and what a blessing she is.  It was awesome.

I am very anxious to start the process of making this decision but I doubt anything will happen before the holidays.  My hope and prayer is that we can find the right placement for her so we do not have to come back and move her again.  This is not going to be an easy decision at all.