Dossier Delivered!

Now we wait on an appointment to have our dossier submitted to the State Department of Adoptions (SDA).

One more step forward!

Facing Reality

Today I faced reality. God does not want us to leave as soon as we want to leave. Ok that might sound like an obvious statement but really, we've been pushing through this doing everything possible to make it go faster and everywhere we go we meet a delay. First it was the homestudy. Right when our social worker was supposed to have it finished his son had to have surgery and that delayed us. Then a document from Missouri that was needed to complete the homestudy didn't get returned which delayed us more. We pushed to have it done before our social worker went on vacation and finally got it in our hands.
After mailing it we met the immigration monster. I've blogged enough about that nightmare but we finally got our approval and as soon as we get our dossier in the mail we get a volcano. Yes, a volcano. Even though most of you are well aware of this I have to say it because years from now I might try to tell Oksana that a volcano was part of our delay and it sounds so crazy and unrealistic that she may not even believe it!
Despite the volcano our dossier made it to Paris and now is moving at a snails pace through Europe. The backup from the volcano is certainly a factor but it gets better. Apparently despite the fact that we marked Priority on everything and told the lady that we wanted it shipped as fast as possible, she entered it as Economy. I was angry, but then I faced reality and moved on. I could have taken a rowboat to Europe and skipped across it to our facilitator by now, but our package is still moseying along and will "hopefully" be there Monday.
To top it all off I found out that May, the most important month for the things that we will need done in Oksana's country, is full of 4 day holidays meaning there will be a number of days when the government offices will be closed. Despite all of my efforts to make this move forward God, for some reason unknown to me, just doesn't want us moving that fast. What I do know is that while I've had plenty of moments of frustration and want more than anything to be with Oksana, "all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose" (Romans 8:28). So all of the things listed above are for our good and for Oksana's because we love Him, He loves us, and this is what we are called to do....frustrations and all...no matter how long it takes.

Bye Bye Dossier!

After one last appostille it was off to Fed Ex today to ship our dossier! Our friend Lynn met us there. Her husband works for Fed Ex and she gave us their discount making our total only $20.92! I figure I'll probably have the tracking number memorized by the time it arrives because I plan on tracking it a lot!

I171.......check!

This has been an emotionally draining day...make that week...for me but we finally have our I171 in our hands! Monday morning our request for evidence landed in Memphis. Our congressman's office contacted them and they said "it's in line for review". Sorry, not good enough. Our congressman's office contacted them again pushing them for more information. This morning Larry got a call from USCIS telling us that there is another question we didn't answer. Now let me be sure you know that it WAS NOT on the request for evidence. They missed it. She said she needed to know how many marriages we'd had. Larry is sure he filled that out but he went ahead and told her that this is our only marriage. She said that was the only thing holding us up. Larry asked when they would send the 171 and she said we should see it next week.

A little later he gets another call from her. She says she needs to send out another request for evidence. This time it seems that we put 1 child on our application but our homestudy says we can have 2 and those numbers need to match. SERIOUSLY? First of all I've never heard that. Second of all WHY WASN'T THAT CAUGHT 4 WEEKS AGO?!?!?!?! Larry just sat there. I think he was shocked and realizing how much this would set us back...again. He told her he wanted to come to Memphis to fill out the request for information. She agreed to let him do that. He then said he also wanted his I171. She was reluctant but eventually said "Fine, what number of children do you want in the box and I'll have it ready for you." Larry said 2 and he headed off to Memphis. He is on his way home now with it! Tomorrow we will get another notary and appostille and then sometime tomorrow afternoon we should be at Fed Ex mailing our dossier!

Moving Forward

On Wednesday, when I went out to the mailbox to find that I still did not have my request for more information in the mail, Larry and I decided we were done sitting around doing nothing. We sent a pleading email to USCIS explaining Oksana's situation, the fact that she should be in an institution, the surgery, and the fact that every day without therapy is a day closer to the surgery being in vain. We sent along a picture pleading with them to move forward with our paperwork. Then we called our congressman's office. Within 2 hours they had the answer that we had waited almost 2 weeks for. Our paper had been put in the mail that day....translation..."Oh the congressman's office has been called? Let's hurry up and stick that thing in the mail." Sure enough it arrived today! Upon opening it I was torn over whether to be thrilled or angry. I was thrilled because it was a SUPER easy fix that took all of 2 seconds. Angry because it was really absolutely unnecessary. We hadn't specified the city we would be in on a section of our paperwork and even though we specified it in numerous other places they decided it was worth delaying us 2 weeks for us to verify, yet again, that indeed we are going where we said we were. GRRRRR..... Anyway, it is back in the mail to them, will be on their desk Monday morning, and upon verification of its receipt our congresmann's office has promised to be breathing down their necks until our I171 is in our hands!

In other news we just found out that we have received a $4000 matching grant! We are absolutely thrilled as this is a much needed help in our effot to bring Oksana home! Things are moving forward again and it feels good!

A Plea for Freddie

Meet Freddie

Freddie will turn 15 this summer and will soon meet his new family! The Shupp family has been working hard to bring Freddie home as soon as possible. Lyndi Shupp is the amazingly wonderful woman who has been our lifeline from Reece's Rainbow guiding us through our adoption. Last summer the Shupp family brought home Patrick from Oksana's orphange! Freddie has epilepsy and although normally a child with this "disability" would be sent to an instituion, he is currently still living in an orphange. Read this story from a missionary who was involved in a child hosting program through his orphanage.

"I'm hosting other kids from his orphanage and visit with him all the time. Unfortunately, this is not the first hosting we're doing from this orphanage and we were not able to find a family to host him because of his epilepsy. I went to his orphanage the other day again to take new photos and chat with the director - and Freddie took me out by the hand and asked "why do other kids go to U.S. and get adopted and me not - is it because I have epilepsy?" And tears came to his eyes.... and I thought I will kill or die but to find a family for him. I changed the subject and we talked about other things and he struck me again by being so smart and logical. He is just a great boy and I really hope you can help find a family for him. I have not given his info to anybody except my hosting partner agency, and they pretty much told me that they won't be able to host him and I need to find somebody to adopt him. Other children love him and take special care of him. "The director went on about that -- I almost cried when she said: "It's amazing how all kids in our orphanage help him. He had a seizure once and another boy put his own hand into Freddie's mouth to make sure he does not bite off his tongue!"

We are so thrilled that the Shupps have stepped forward to bring Freddie home! The one huge obstacle that they face right now is funds. They are extremely close to traveling and still have quite a bit of money to raise. Please go check out their puzzle fundraiser and help bring this boy home!

HARD

This waiting is so hard. I mentioned in a post in March that we had emailed the immigration office handling our paperwork and they had said that the next day they would be sending out a request for more information. That was a disappointment to us since we knew that would drag the process out longer. We got that email on a Thursday the 25th. The form should have been mailed Friday the 26th. That obviously didn't happen because we still have nothing. All of our attempts to reach them last week were met with no response. We finally emailed them again on Monday to find out that the woman handling our paperwork was out all week last week and they would let us know as soon as they heard from her regarding the status of our paperwork and whether or not they ever did send the request for more information. Every day we have gone to the mailbox waiting and wondering and it is so extremely frustrating. By the time we get that request we still have to gather whatever information they need and send it back just to start waiting again for our approval. We have a friend who knows a congressman. He is going to see if he can get some action over there on our behalf. Unfortunately the friend keeps reminding us that with all of this healthcare stuff right now the congressmen are up to their ears in work and he may not be able to help. I want so badly to knock on their door and say "HELLLLLOOOOO....do you not see that my girl needs her family?" But I don't, I just continue to wait and trust that God is STILL in control even when it isn't happening like I'd hoped it would!

Oksana's Birthday!

What a day today has been. It is Good Friday and Oksana's birthday! It occurred to me this morning that both are bittersweet. I am heavy hearted when I consider the suffering that Jesus endured on the cross, but joyful for the salvation that comes through His sacrifice. I am also heavy hearted as I consider Oksana's birthday in the orphanage. I wonder if anyone acknowledged it or if she felt special in any way. But I am joyful because I know that next year her birthday will be one of great celebration surrounded by family and friends!

Nearly 8 years ago, when I was very pregnant with Evan, we took Clayton to Build A Bear to stuff an animal for his new brother. He chose a cat and dressed it as a firefighter! This year for Oksana's birthday we took the boys back to Build A Bear to make Oksana a bear that will go with us when we travel.

Here we are choosing her bear


Evan is helping to stuff it


And here is Oksana's new friend! We named her Mishka. I chose the clothes because the boys wanted to dress it as a Star Wars character!


After Build A Bear we gathered with our small group as well as a couple of other friends for a small party for Oksana.

Here is her cake


Friends singing Happy Birthday!


Evan goofing off before we cut the cake!


And FINALLY some clothes hanging in the closet! I can't say I'm positive they will fit her but I'm so glad she doesn't have an empty closet anymore!

New Pictures!

Those of you who have been in our shoes know that there is nothing more exciting than new pictures! Last night I checked my email to find a message from a family who had met Oksana while adopting their daughter last summer! She sent pictures along with a description saying that Oksana is lovable, loves to laugh, and has a smile that brightens a room!


I can't wait to see her with a sweet little girly hair cut! Those orphanage hair cuts just don't work for me :)!
We've learned that our marriage certificates should be fine which is good news. Unfortunately we also learned that USCIS is sending out a request for more info before they can finish processing our I171 giving us clearance to bring Oksana home. We should find out what they need Saturday or Monday and we hope that as soon as they have whatever they need they will get this wrapped up quickly!

Excitement That Mixes With Fear

Adoption is exciting....very exciting. I longed for God to open Larry's eyes to the blessings of children with disabilities, and when He did I was overjoyed! Then when God used that same husband to call us to adopt internationally I was scared but it was still exciting. Then we saw Oksana and again, even though it seemed scary, there was an excitement about this little girl coming into our home. Even Clayton felt it. Every time the phone rang or an email came he'd rush up to me and say "Is that about the adoption?" Everyone walked around our house for months with the words "I can't wait to meet her" coming from our mouths. But as with many things that God calls us to there is also a reality behind that excitement. It's taken us awhile but reality and fears are starting to set in.

For Clayton it started with his buddy Thomas. Thomas has been blessed with a wonderful sister who arrived in their home 2 years ago from China. One day Clayton came to me and said "Mom, I'm starting to have second thoughts about adoption." When I asked why he told me that Thomas said that he was excited about his sister too but now she just gets on his nerves! I was actually glad that Thomas said that. It gave me a great opportunity to remind Clayton that she WILL get on his nerves! Evan gets on his nerves and without a doubt Oksana will too. She's a real kid just like everyone else. Yesterday we all had a talk about changes that will take place when she gets here. In many ways it will be like having a baby in the house again only she will be 5. Still....she will need to learn to walk, talk, and be potty trained. She will take a lot of my time. Of course we always balance that with the joy she will bring, the wonderful big brothers they will be, and that when Evan was born these things all happened to Clayton and yet he can't imagine his life without his brother now. They are still excited for Oksana...but reality has set in.

Then there is me. The former Special Ed teacher who dreamed of adopting a child with a disability. This is a dream come true. I've been so blessed to have been able to talk to people who have met Oksana, and I know a bit about her personality, but still fears creep in. For me it started with the books. In an effort to learn as much as possible about adoption I have read some really scary stuff. Things that have made me have to put my book down and walk away for awhile. Then the "what ifs" kick in. The "what ifs" are a not fun things to walk through. They steal my joy, but they are reality for many families who choose this road. A dear friend who recently adopted posted on Facebook, "Adoption is not for the faint of heart". So true. Just when I thought that I was following a dream come true I've realized that God tricked me ;) into a journey that would cause me to need to rely on Him more than ever! And that alone, my friends, makes this a blessing despite any "what ifs"!

Realize, I'm not saying that we are second guessing our decision or that we aren't extremely excited to meet our sweet girl and get her in our arms. I'm simply saying that there is so much unknown that comes with any adoption, much less a 5 year old girl with CP who lives in an orphanage in Eastern Europe. I'm thankful to not travel the road alone, and know that she was chosen for our family by the Lord. That gives great peace and battles the "what ifs". Our family will be molded and shaped in ways we could have never imagined by this wonderful girl, and while I know the road won't always be easy, it is a journey well worth traveling to save Oksana!

The Waiting Game...

I've had some people ask for an update on Oksana but unfortunately I don't have one. I did email our faciliator and he only told me that her surgery was planned, not urgent, and successful. I don't know how often he is at the orphanage, but I do know that he has a family coming next week to get their daughter so hopefully I will get an update around the beginning of April.

We are also waiting on word about our marriage license. There seems to be some confusion about the way Missouri does theirs and we are trying to find out if it will be accepted in Oksana's country. We're not sure what we will do if they don't like it but we will figure something out. In the mean time we are still waiting on our approval from immigration and we got a whole stack of documents apostilled. Here they are looking all official :):



We got an encouraging phone call today from Larry's mom. My inlaws own an auto body shop. My mom decided to bring baked goods to sell to customers, as well as the staff, to raise more money. Today a man who owns another shop that they do business with came in and heard about Oksana. They found out that he has a child with a disability and gave $100 towards our adoption! We are amazed by the ways that God is providing for us! The closer we get the more excited we get. It won't be long now!

Surgery!

Yesterday we woke up to an email from Oleg, our facilitator in Oksana's country, that gave us quite a shock. He informed us that Oksana had surgery recently. He had been to the hospital to bring her some goodies and had attached pictures. My first reaction was "WHAT?!?!". Then as I opened the pictures I realized it was a surgery related to her CP. I have emailed him to ask if he has details and I am waiting to hear back. I have a friend who was a nurse at Shriners Hospital in St. Louis and she gave me a good guess as to what the surgery could have been. I'm waiting for official word though. Here are the pictures he sent:

This is the grocery cart full of stuff that he brought to her! We are so thrilled that he took the time to visit her and have been very impressed with him just from our limited contact with him already.


This is Oksana at the hospital. Oleg thinks that she is back at the orphanage by now. My friend indicated that she may be in these casts for up to 2 months. Notice the 2 cookies in one hand, 1 cookie in the other, and she's looking in the bag:). What a precious girl!


We are, of course, still waiting on our clearance from immigration. We sent off 2 grant applications and are excited to see what comes of that. It won't be long!

Homestudy....check!

Larry picked up our homestudy this morning and already sent it off to USCIS (immigration)! We now only need 1 more piece of paper to complete our dossier! Unfortunately that paper will probably take about a month to get here but we still have plenty to keep us busy this month. We are working on grant applications and have them just about ready to send out and we have a stack of papers that need to be apostilled. I still don't fully understand the appostille process. Basically it's certifying documents that have already been certified at the price of $10 a document! All I know is it has to be done so that is also on our list for this month. There's never a dull moment around here!

Oh and I wanted to post a picture of Oksana's dresser after Larry painted it:

Fingerprints...check! Homestudy....delayed

Ok first the exciting news. We can knock fingerprints off of our checklist which is getting shorter and shorter! We had to drive 5 hours round trip for a 1/2 hour appointment, but it was well worth it! Our boys spent the afternoon with friends so it gave us time to listen to some wonderful teaching on the radio and talk, something that rarely happens with 2 boys in the back of the van!

Now about the homestudy. Please pray. It is such a huge piece of the puzzle and it was supposed to be finished by the end of February, but on the 28th we got an e-mail from our social worker saying that he was behind because his son had an emergency apendectomy. Certainly an understandable reason to be behind! He has said we will have it by the end of this week. We are praying that nothing else will affect getting that homestudy in our hands!

There's A Girly Room in my House!!!!!!

My mom came in town this weekend and we got to work on creating Oksana's room. I never thought I'd see the day that I'd purchase pink paint! We love the results :).

Oksana's bed is a day bed and has another bed underneath. She is currently in a crib and we will have a crib for her too before she gets here so that she can have that security if she needs it but we hope to transfer her to this bed as soon as possible.

Here is a close up of her letters. We bought them at Hobby Lobby and then painted them white and stenciled brown and pink polka dots on them. This is my favorite part of the room!

This is her window with tulle draped over it. I had to close the blinds for you to see the tulle otherwise the light went right through it.

Here are the hooks we found to drape the tulle on. They were in the garden section at Hobby Lobby so they aren't supposed to be for windows but they sure are cute and I got them for only $1 each!

We still need to paint her dresser white but Larry is waiting for it to warm up a bit. The lamp and the mirror were both 50% off at Hobby Lobby! I love a good deal!

These are the drawer pulls that we will put on the dresser. They were also 50% off at Hobby Lobby! Can you tell that mom and I had fun at Hobby Lobby?!

As we were working this weekend I pointed out how strange it felt that a little girl half way across the world had no idea that a group of people were working hard to give her her own room. Now all we need is to have her in it! I hope she likes it!

A Glimpse into Oksana's Life

Many of you have probably heard me talk about Ellen. Ellen adopted her daughter Nina from Oksana's orphanage back in December and in fact Nina and Oksana were best friends. I'd like to share with you a portion of her blog (with permission) that gives you a look into Oksana's baby house and her heart. This was written in December of last year, before we had ever even considered international adoption or seen Oksana on Reece's Rainbow's website, and I think it will help you understand why we are in such a hurry to get her:

Let me start by saying that Nina's orphanage is a good one. From what we have been told, it is one of the best orphanages here in Eastern Europe. The doctor at their orphanage is wonderful, she really cares about the children, and the workers are also all very caring. At least in the small ways they can and know.

Nina's house (this orphanage is made up of several houses) is getting remodeled. So as I walked inside, neither the doctor's office nor the room where we visited before were available. As a matter of fact, as I walked in I wondered where in the world I would visit her. So I walked straight to her room, as far as I could tell, it was the only one with children. My guess is that the other kids have been moved temporarily to the other houses.

I walked in, and all the children in Nina's groupa were playing in the big playpen. Some of the kids saw me and tried to get my attention. A little girl with CP (this was Oksana -Erin) saw me and started to cry, reaching out to me and calling me "mama." Talk about heart wrenching.

The workers found themselves in a predicament, so what was their solution? They brought a little table and a chair with a stool for me. I realized then, they were going to have me visit with Nina right there, in that room, and please ignore the other children because any attention I give them makes them very agitated.

When I visit Nina I bring toys for her in a bag, along with candy and snacks. Nina knows this, and of course wants to play. Imagine doing this in front of the other children. Do you see my dilema? I can't give her candy and not the other kids! I can't give her a snack and not them! The little girl, Oskana, kept crying for me, or for a mama, and even though it was Russian I underestood what she was saying, "I want a mama! I want a mama!" And I know the workers were telling her to stop, that I was Nina's mama. So she cried some more, "I want a mama too!"

I wanted to scoop her up, to give her a big hug. And how I wished I could have found her a mama, and tell her, "See! Here is your mama!" I decided maybe it would be a good idea to blow bubbles for all the kids. Oskana stopped crying and loved the bubbles. So did the other kids, and Nina. I realized Nina was confused, why was I not playing with her? And I really did not want this to become a question in her heart, "Is she here for me or for them?" Her little face was really confused. Not jealous, not throwing a fit, but I could tell she did not understand. Bubbles were great, but with the children so spread out it was taking me a while to go around the room and get enough bubbles for all of them.

A little girl rocked and rocked herself. Okay, I just don't know how to describe this, she violently rocked herself against the playpen. She was hitting it hard. The workers kept asking her to stop. Obviously having me there was causing her some distress. Rock, rock, rock. She wouldn't stop.

I had to leave the room, me being there was too much for these children. These children who desperately want a mama. They do not understand "She is Nina's mama." All they know, is that I am someone's mama, and why in the world won't I get them and pick them up.

The things we get excited about....like fingerprints!

Who ever would have thought that a little piece of paper promising an appointment to get fingerprints would bring such joy to a household! Today we found out that we will be traveling to Memphis to have our fingerprints done on March 3 at 2:00! Some of you are wondering what in the world the big deal is. Realize that this is one more step, and a pretty significant one at that, closer to bringing Oksana home. Therefore it is a big deal!

By the end of the month....

There are many things that we are working towards and are hoping will happen by the end of the month. We've been told that our homestudy will be ready by the end of the month. That will be a huge step forward! I'm hoping we will see a draft even earlier. In anticipation of that homestudy we are working hard on grant applications. While completing these I came to realize that just about the only thing you don't reveal about yourself in the adoption process is your underwear size! We have 2 churches helping us get grants so we are hopeful that we will see at least something come through to help us out.

We went ahead and sent out our i600a so we could get everything rolling through immigration even though we need our homestudy to complete that process (are you seeing how important the homestudy is?!). We heard back from them last week and hope to see something in the mail by the end of the month letting us know when we will have our fingerprint appointment (we will have to go to Memphis for this). That will be another good step forward because with the fingerprints and the homestudy we will only be waiting on our I171 that will give us approval through immigration and is also the final piece of our dossier.

This month will also give us great progress on getting Oksana's room ready. My mom is coming in town on Friday and we are going to have a weekend of painting and decorating! I'll post pictures when we are finished.

This month has only 2 weeks left in it but those 2 weeks have great potential for big strides in getting us closer to bringing Oksana home!

Button!

Check out the beautiful button that our friend Lu made for Oksana on the right under our family picture. If you click on it you will be taken to our giving page through Reece's Rainbow. Underneath it you will see that you can add it to your blog to help spread the word about Oksana! Please consider adding this beautiful button to your blog to help us bring Oksana home. Thanks so much Lu!!!

Anticipating the Wait

Everyone has told us that the process of an adoption is a "hurry up and wait" process. The good news is our "hurry up" is almost over. We had our final homestudy visit (he said we passed :), we will finish our 10 hours of training this week, and our homestudy should be written and in our hands by the end of the month. We've also collected all of the dossier documents that we can at this time. Once our homestudy is in hand we will send it off in order to get fingerprints through immigration. This is where the "wait" aspect comes in. We'll need to wait for an appointment for our fingerprints....then wait for our I171 from immigration giving us approval....then we send our dossier and wait to be approved...then we get a travel date....and then we wait to travel. Do you see the frequently occurring word there?! If you've experienced the wait please tell me I will survive. The thought of my little girl in an orphanage one day longer kills me. At least when I was working on the homestudy and the dossier I was actively working to bring her home but what will it look like to just wait?!

Psalm 27:14
Wait for the LORD; Be strong and let your heart take courage; Yes, wait for the LORD.

Psalm 33:20

We wait in hope for the LORD; he is our help and our shield.

Psalm 37:7
Be still before the LORD and wait patiently for him;