Daisies

Today I got a wonderful new perspective on my journey of attachment with Oksana.  A year ago I wrote a post where I said that before adopting Oksana I had created my own fairy tale adoption story.  That fairy tale included us running toward each other in slow motion in a field of daisies and embracing.  She would have a huge smile on her face because she finally had a mama!  Well if you've followed this blog long you know that there were no daisies in my field.

Today I was sharing this story with a friend and she commented on the fact that the daisies must come eventually.  I will admit that for a moment I had to think about that.  Have we had our field of daisies?  2 1/2 years later things can still be hard.  A year ago I had no idea that Oksana would be diagnosed with Reactive Attachment Disorder.  That definitely explains a lot of the reason that we've struggled so much.  And then it occurred to me.....we are planting our field of daisies one daisy at a time. 

When we laugh together...really geniunely laugh and enjoy each other.....daisy

 

When she lets me kiss her goodnight without pushing me away.....daisy

 

When she hugs me...just because she wants to (this is a rare, rare occasion)....daisy

 

When she said "I love you" for the first time a couple of weeks ago while she was getting out of the car to go to school.  It had never happened before and hasn't happened again since.....daisy

 

What I realized is that the field may have been empty when we met, and the field may still be sparse today, but some day I may look back and realize that we are running through a field of daisies.

 

For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

Jeremiah 29:11