Back in Residential

Today is day 1 of 90 days in residential.

Yesterday Oksana saw her psychiatrist and she asked for a blood draw to get Lithium levels.  We went first thing this morning since it had to be done fasting.  She was very mad at me because I made her walk by herself in and out of the building.  When she got to the car, after much screaming and crying, she chose to hit me, hit herself, bite herself, rip her glasses off and bite them, etc.  It was a good reminder why we are doing this.  We got to the residential center at 10.  I dropped her off at school (which is on the campus of the residential center) and then went to an intake meeting.  The meeting went well.  Our Crider and Regional center workers were there.  We all talked about the issues we had last time and how things would be different this time.  We got to see her room and we discussed things like the best way to bathe her, how she takes meds, when we will be visiting, etc.  We both felt confident when we left.  It was a good meeting.

After that it was about 11:30.  Oksana was due to see her OT and PT at Ranken Jordan at 2:00.  She is seeing them monthly right now just so they can keep an eye on her while she isn't going weekly.  Since the residential center is 40 minutes from home, I stayed behind and hung out in the area.  I got some lunch and strolled around some stores before heading back there at about 1:15 to get her.  Her teacher had told me she would take her to the bathroom right before she left.  On the way to Ranken Jordan I asked if she had gone to the bathroom.  She said she had tried but couldn't.  I told her that was fine and we would just try again when we got there.  I then asked her if she was dry and she said no.  I don't know if I have mentioned this before but her new behavior is peeing herself.  She can totally control it and has shown us that over and over again but chooses to pee herself instead.  We currently have her in pull ups only because she was peeing on furniture and car seats.  So I told her that I didn't understand how it is possible that she couldn't go 15 minutes earlier but suddenly she had to go so bad that she had to wet herself.  When we got there I discovered that she had peed through her pull up all over the car seat.  I pulled up to the front door of Ranken Jordant, got out, told the receptionist that we were cancelling because my daughter chose to pee herself, and left.

She was MAD!  I got called every name in the book, she starting hitting herself on the head, ripping off her glasses, etc.  I explained that she chose to pee herself and so she could not go to therapy because they can't have her sitting on their equipment with wet pants.  She decided it was all my fault and made sure to tell me how glad she was that she didn't have to be with me tonight.  It took everything in me not to tell her that at that moment the feeling was very mutual!  I took her back to the residential center and handed her over to them screaming and carrying on.  I just kissed her, said goodbye and walked away.

I was supposed to go get her again tomorrow for a well visit with her pediatrician but I rescheduled it.  I'm taking a week off from seeing her so I can breathe.  I'll go back to get her Thursday of next week to take her to the doctor.  I told her that if she stayed dry and behaved herself I would love to take her to lunch, but if not she would go to the doctor and go immediately back to residential.   I think after not seeing her for a week and having the incentive of lunch I won't have any problem with her.

Our plan is to see her once a week. Last time we tried to go 2-3 times a week but we couldn't relax at all like that.  It was crazy trying to coordinate child care and all of our other activities with visits that took 3 hours including travel.  Half the time she didn't even care we were there and sometimes even ended our visits early.  This time we are focusing on our marriage and our other 3 kids while she is gone.  We have registered for a Weekend to Remember marriage conference and we are SO excited to get away for a weekend!  We are also planning to take our other kids on a vacation.  We haven't officially decided where yet but we are considering Great Wolf Lodge.

I am hopeful that this will be a good thing for all of us.