How It's Going

Thank you Samara J for lighting a fire under my behind to update this blog!  I really should update more often because there is plenty to share.  Since I'm behind I'll have to give an overview.

Oksana is not doing well.  She has decided to completely refuse to walk.  She whines and cries constantly to try to get them to do things for her and then when they do she laughs at them and says things like "got you".  Oh boy she is having a good old time.  She is driving the staff insane. We had a meeting about her last week with her teacher, residential staff, Crider, and regional center (department of mental health).  It was a really good meeting.  We came up with some ideas to attempt to get her walking again.  They told us how she is exhausting the staff.  I have to admit that I felt validated.  Larry and I have been doing this for so long alone.  We have been exhausted beyond belief.  It was good to know that someone else understands what we feel.  Her aggression has not increased greatly which is good.  She is choosing different behaviors this time.  She has figured out they are more effective at getting her what she wants.  That is not to say that she isn't aggressive but it isn't any more than the usual.  After our meeting her Crider worker went to do a visit with her.  They walked out to see her and she was flat on the ground refusing to walk to the cafeteria to eat.  It was good for her to see first hand what Oksana is doing.  She mentioned to me that just the 20 minutes she spent with her was exhausting.  She is really pulling out all the stops.

We have only seen her a couple of times.  We took her to the doctor and that went well.  She really wanted to go to lunch so she did a very good job of holding herself together.  She started to fall apart after lunch was over (no more incentive to behave) but we got her in the car quickly and got her back to residential.  The next time we went to visit her our visit went well but by the end she decided to completely refuse to walk and we had to call the staff to come get her.  The third time we went to visit her they were on a field trip and no one told us.  I always give them advanced notice of our visits for just this reason.  I was so annoyed.  That was just this past weekend and I don't know if we will have a chance to see her again before Saturday.

In other news I am really enjoying my job.  It has taken me quite awhile to get back int he groove of teaching.  I primarily have taught preschool to lower elementary and now I am teaching high school.  It is quite a change and I am writing the curriculum so it is has been challenging.  I love my students and I'm having a lot of fun with them.  I also love working front desk at the school.  I have gotten to know the kids and parents so much better than when I just dropped the boys off and picked them up.  It has been a real blessing.

We are working with Anya's behavior therapist and she is doing great.  We still have a long way to go but we have already SIGNIFICANTLY reduced one of her most annoying behaviors.  Her therapist warned us that it would get worse before it got better.  Boy did it!  I was physically shaking one day because her behaviors were CONSTANT.  After that day it started dropping off pretty fast.  Like I said, we still have a long way to go but it has been great to have the time and energy to focus on her now!

We are also having Evan evaluated for ADHD.  Again, now that our attention isn't 110% on Oksana we are seeing things and working on things that we haven't had a chance to address because she demanded so much of us.  Evan is such a great kid.  Unfortunately he is showing a number of signs of the inattentive type of ADHD in his school work.  I think it hid itself for a long time because he was homeschooled and I served as his external organizer.  Now that he is becoming more and more independent it is affecting him in many areas.  We have seen it in school, horseback riding, and we also learned that there is a link between ADD and Social Anxiety Disorder which is a huge issue for him.  He will be evaluated in early October.

Amazing what we can do when we can focus on everyone in our family and not just one person....

One more random little update.  Because it will be absolutely hilarious, I have decided to put Anya in a beauty pageant for people with special needs :).  Her respite provider is going to help her on stage (this pageant has a helper for all of the contestants).  I think she will need a talent.  She will probably kick someone and stick her tongue out at them!  She's pretty talented when it comes to misbehavior!  I have to send in a head shot of her.  My friend who does our family pictures really wants to do a head shot of her so I will post it on Thursday when we meet up with her.  If nothing else this should give us something fun to focus on for awhile :).